Reasons Why She is Ignoring Me But Actually Likes Me

Guys, most of you have been through it – one minute she’s texting you, the next, she’s flat out ignoring you. Why is she ignoring you while she likes you?

Females are perplexing creatures, no doubt, so what exactly does it mean if she goes from hot to cold in a split second?

Here are 10 reasons why she may be ignoring you even though she actually likes you. 

  1. She is getting mixed signals from you
  2. She likes someone else 
  3. She’s punishing you for something 
  4. She is feeling insecure 
  5. She is overthinking things
  6. She wants you to make the first move 
  7. She is busy
  8. She is bored or there is no spark 
  9. She is playing you
  10. She is not really into you

Figuring women out can be a difficult task when it comes to what they’re feeling, especially since their moods can fluctuate from one minute to the next.

Add the 24/7 ease of access that texting and apps like WhatsApp offer, and it can quickly become even more complicated.  

Read on to learn more about why a girl you really like may not be paying so much attention to you as before.

But remember, each woman is different, so don’t take my words as gospel; you have to read the situation and figure it out for yourself.


Why Did She Stop Responding To My Texts?

A poll of 2,201 adults discovered that 62% of women would text rather than talk. This makes knowing the dos and don’ts of texting even more important than being able to start up a conversation with a woman at the local bar.

We all know that text messages can be very confusing, so it is best to figure out all the reasons why she stopped responding to your texts and take it from there.


1. She is Getting Mixed Signals from You

If a woman likes you on a romantic level, and she feels you’re sending mixed signals, of course she will get nervous.

Thoughts – much like what goes through your head when she ignores you – will run through her mind.

She will wonder if you even really like her, if you’re playing her or if you’re already with someone and she just doesn’t know it yet.

She may have started flirting with you but after no reaction or an undesired response from you, she may back off and fake disinterest.

She may even go as far as ignore you the next time she sees you until you give her a sign and then she will open up again. 

Fact of the matter is women are more sensitive than men and that is something you have to keep in mind.

She might have had a bad day and is super stressed and this will make her take things personally and may easily misread your signals.

Inconsistency will also be a nail in your romance coffin. If you’re not following through on what you said you’d do, she is not going to take you seriously and this will lead to her turning colder than the beer you’ll be sulking over.

Leaving her a few breadcrumbs in the form of erratic text messages in the hopes that she sticks around is not going to do the trick. 


2. She Likes Someone Else 

It is possible that you’re just a decoy. Not nice to hear, I know, but maybe she is actually into your friend but is too shy to flirt with him directly.

To get close to him, she gets close to you. It’s not nice, but don’t act like men do exactly the same at times!

It is a matter of saving yourself from rejection; you can be your flirty, funny, charming self and should you get rebuffed by the person you actually like, you can save face.  

So, to make sure that you’re actually the person she’s into, check her body language to make sure that her attention is fully on you and not shared with someone else.

If she seriously has the hots for you, and you are sending her the right signals, she will stop flirting with other men.

However, make her wonder if you really like her, and she may go right back to flirting with other men again.


3. She’s Punishing You for Something 

Hell has no fury like a woman scorned, am I right?

If you have overstepped in some way – even in a way that you don’t even find worth mentioning – she may let you know she’s unhappy by ignoring you.

If you then make the worst move known to man and tell her she is overreacting, you might as well move to Antarctica because you will experience nothing but freezing temperatures from her.


4. She is Feeling Insecure

Feeling insecure is a big downer.

Whenever something happens that makes a woman feel insecure, she will need you to prove yourself to her…again.

One way of showing her insecurity is by playing aloof or disappearing from the radar completely.

But she is actually just waiting for you to text her to tell her that you care and that everything will be okay. 


5. She is Overthinking Things

Women are such overthinkers, aren’t they?

Trying on seven different outfits, questioning if the make-up is too heavy or too light, wondering what the other person is thinking – texting less because you sent one less heart emoji than before so that must mean you hate her now, right? 

With all this second-guessing and questioning and overthinking going on, it makes sense that she will back away, especially if she likes you a lot.

It’s easier to not go for it (you) than to swim through all these thoughts only to be rejected. 

See Also: What is Longing for Someone?


6. She Wants You to Make the First Move 

How many romantic connections have been missed out on because of shyness? A lot, if you ask me.

Some women (and men) are just shy and won’t be able to initiate communication.

It basically comes down to a fear of rejection but times it by 1000 when you’re shy. 

Some women will never gather enough confidence to approach you because there’s always a chance that you will say “no”, so they would rather stay away to protect their hearts. 

On the other side, if you’re too shy and not stepping up in your pursuit of her, she may think you’re not serious about her or the relationship and stop texting you.

Remember, she won’t be intrigued by you forever; just because you got her number and shared some text does not mean you’ve reached the endgame.


7. She is Busy 

Life has a way of getting in the way of your (and her) plans.

She may have read your message and was ready to type a reply but then had to do some important task for work or school.

She just has not yet had time to reply, chill a little.  

Timing can make or break a relationship but before you jump to thinking she is ignoring your texts, wait and see what happens in a few hours.

Don’t catch blue-tick syndrome where you expect an instant response when you see she read your message.

But, then, of course, there is something as being too busy for a relationship at all, and that is something you will have to keep in mind.

If you’re not getting the attention you need because she is too busy with school or work, maybe she is not ready for you yet. Walk away and find someone who will be able to make more time for you.


8. She is Bored Or There is No Spark

Falling into a routine can quickly lead to boredom and once that thrill is lost, so maybe her interest in you.

That is if there ever was interest, to begin with. 

For men, it can be a big blow to their ego if a woman does not feel an instant spark – so much so that they will ignore any and all signals pointing to the fact that there is no chemistry.

Unfortunately, there is no clearer sign of an uninterested woman than receiving no replies to the 10 text messages you sent her telling her she must be an Angel that fell from heaven.


9. She’s Playing You

Oh dear, this is where the hot, then cold phenomenon takes a dark turn. 

If a woman is not interested in you but knows that you like her, she may enjoy the attention, leading to quick responses and back-and-forth text messaging.

Then, as soon as you come on too strong, she’ll disappear from your life to put you off.

But wait, it’s not over yet, as soon as she misses the attention, she may slide back into your DMs. 

Rinse and repeat, unless you spot this type of behavior and break ties. It’s definitely not worth your energy to keep communication lines open with someone who uses you for her own amusement.

On a side note, if a woman has not been responding to your texts for weeks or months, she’s probably not playing a game and is just not interested.


10. She is Not Really Into You

You may be America’s next male top model, but that doesn’t mean that every woman on planet earth will want a relationship with you.

However, if a woman is very attracted to you and wants to get to know you better, you will know – she will find a way to share her interest.

As a result, being ignored may be a clear indication that she’s just not that into you.

The above 10 reasons why she is ignoring your texts even when she likes you are not the only possibilities; women are complex creatures and the reasons why they’re hot one minute and cold the next may, quite frankly, be infinite!  

Some other more obvious explanations to keep in mind include:

  • Phone problems
  • She doesn’t like texting 
  • She has personal issues to deal with 
  • You are overwhelming her
  • You took too long to show interest
  • You have a bad reputation

What To Do When She Is Ignoring You

No one is a fan of being jerked around. Here are some tips to help you get to the bottom of why she is ignoring you. 


Be Clear

If the signals a woman is giving you are confusing you, confess to her that you have feelings and she may do the same.

Of course, you’re opening yourself up for rejection, but isn’t a rebuff better than wasting your time? 

Men often think that the subtle cues he is giving off will let a woman know of his romantic interests.

There is, however, no guarantee that she will notice these signs and you may end up losing the love of your life. 

That being said, also be clear about the fact that you can’t put your life on hold for her. Show her that you are still doing the things that make you happy even though she is being unresponsive over text messages

The bottom line is that communication is key; if you are confused because she is ignoring your text messages, ask her what is wrong. When you get her answer, you can figure out what to do next.


Be Understanding 

Maybe her phone’s battery died or she is in a low-signal area.

As you’ve already read, there are numerous reasons why she may not be responding to your text messages.

Don’t, right off the bat, assume that she is giving you the cold shoulder.

Talk to her and find out why she has been distant and if there is anything you can do to help. 


Give Her Space 

If it comes out that she needs some room to think or work through some issues, give it to her. Back off – don’t text, call or ask to see her.

Not only will you accepting her request for space show that you respect her, but there is also the saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and she may be back in contact sooner than you expect. 

Women also need alone time to re-energize and get back in contact with themselves.

Disregarding this need will most likely cause her to ignore you as a way to force you to give her the time she needs.


Act Normal 

Be friendly and nice if you should happen to see her in person.

Don’t act like you’re unhappy, and should you feel the need to raise the issue, don’t make it a big deal

It is a fine balance, you want her to show that you are interested and concerned that she has not been texting you back, but you also don’t want to appear clingy and as if you don’t have a life of your own to live without her.


What NOT To Do When She Is Ignoring You

Don’t Flirt with Another Woman

Your first instinct may be to give another woman attention in an effort to make the one that is ignoring you jealous.

Some men may argue that this is a surefire way to get her to show interest again, but isn’t it a kinda douche thing to do?

Yes, if she sees you flirting with another woman she may be jealous but there is no guarantee that it will drive her towards you – it may just backfire and you’ll never hear from her again. 


Don’t Look Desperate

Coming on too strong can be a huge turn-off for women, and that is why at times it is best to pull back a little and avoid getting too sappy.

She does not need to hear that you think she is the only one for you – especially not over text. 

As mentioned earlier, you need to show her that you have your own life and your happiness is not completely dependent on her attention (even though it may feel like it is).

Appearing desperate over text may be seen as weakness by her and it can lead to her not just ignoring you, but deleting you from her phonebook completely.


Don’t Double Text 

You may be so ecstatic when she finally responds, that you want to write her a mini-essay. Don’t. Reply once, keep it relevant to her message and move on. 

You want a discussion to take place, not a monologue; if she waits an hour or a week to reply, avoid the urge to double text. You don’t want her to think you are sitting at home waiting for her to answer your text message.

But what if you hear a song that reminds you of her and you just quickly want to pop in to say ‘hello’ even though she has yet to respond to a text message you sent a week ago? Stop yourself; put down your phone and go live your life.


But Isn’t She Just Playing Hard To Get?

Earlier in this article, I mentioned that if a woman likes you, you’ll know. There will be definite signs that she is into you even though she may act coy.

But how exactly do you know if it is an ‘I can’t stand your face’ type of ignore or an ‘Oh my word, I think I love you but don’t want to look too desperate’ ignore? 

Here are some common signs that will show you a woman is interested but playing hard to get:

  • She flips her hair 
  • Bites her lip
  • Gazes at you from the side or top of her eyes
  • Sits straight up, sucks in her stomach sticks her chest out and pushes her butt back when you’re near
  • Smile sweetly
  • Lick her lips
  • Lock eyes with you for longer than usual

It is not nice to sit around and wonder why someone didn’t text you back a week after you went on what you thought was the perfect date.

But luckily, after this article, you are armed with some hypothetical scenarios to tailor your responses to.

In short, the only way to find out why a woman is ignoring you even if she likes you is to ask.

Maybe she dropped her phone, maybe she’s studying or working on a big project, or maybe, she’s just not that into you.