You’ve lost count of the number of text messages you’ve sent. It’s been almost a month of texting, but she still hasn’t replied.
It can be quite disheartening when someone ignores you; what more when that someone is the girl of your dreams?
Texting represents your only chance of talking with her. She can’t be your girlfriend if she won’t text back, right?
Thus, you can feel the pressure with every passing hour or day that she hasn’t replied to your messages.
You think that by responding to your messages, your girl would not only acknowledge your existence but also give you hope on impressing her.
After all, you’ve gotten her number so you’re a few steps away from convincing her to go out with you.
And in your mind, texting gives you the best chance of gauging your chances of setting up a meeting. Thus, you’re feeling the pressure of her not responding to your text messages.
Is it time to hit the panic button? Should you consider changing your approach to wooing her?
What does it mean when a girl isn’t responding to your text messages? And how do you make your girl respond?
Continue reading as we uncover the many reasons behind a girl’s lack of interest in replying to text messages.
Table of Contents
What does it mean when a girl does not text you first?
First things first– it is normal or common for guys like you to overthink every text or the lack of it.
According to dating expert and author Julie Spira, men and women tend to get angry when the people they are interested in don’t respond to their text messages.
This is not surprising because being ignored is a feeling that leaves a bad taste in the mouth.
We all desire to be wanted, right?
Yet you should not be sulking because of the lack of replies to your messages. The more mature approach is to think about why your girl is not replying to your text messages.
Ask yourself: “what are the reasons why she’s not texting you first? Is it solely because she’s not into you?”
It’s possible that your girl is not into text messaging, hence, you can’t expect her to text you first. Not all girls like to send messages through texts. Some would rather receive a phone call.
Take it from relationship and dating expert April Masini who argues that some people aren’t natural texters. They are not into texting, plain and simple.
These people are more concerned with other things like working or studying. Or they may be preoccupied with their families, friends, and colleagues.
According to her, it’s not the fault of these people that they are not into texting. It’s just their personality, simply put.
In the same vein that some people don’t like to post on Facebook or tweet, some peeps don’t really like sending text messages.
So don’t feel bad if your crush won’t text you first. She may not just like texting; that’s all.
Here’s yet another reason why you shouldn’t worry when your girl won’t text you first– she simply would not want to bother you.
Let’s remember that we all have daily schedules and priorities. We can assume that she won’t text you in the morning she knows you’re busy. You may be preparing for school or work– how sure is she that you’ll text back?
She won’t also be sending text messages during the hectic hours of the day like lunch or dinner because she knows you are likely to be busy.
She may want to give you enough time to deal with your business. Like working on that project your boss expects you to finish in five days.
And we can also turn the tables around and say that she’s not texting you because she’s busy, too! Your crush may be preoccupied with work, school, or family.
In short, she’s not texting you not because she’s not into you. It can be because she has other things to attend to!
Last but certainly not least, she’s not texting you first because she expects you to be the first one to do so.
Have you thought about the likelihood of this scenario? Sure, it’s already 2020 and girls making the first move is generally accepted anywhere in the world.
But not all girls are daring enough to make the first move. And not all of them believe that they should be the first ones to make the move.
As dating expert Dan Bacon puts it, women still want to be pursued especially by guys whom they are physically attracted to.
Let us say that you met this girl at work. And you left a good impression.
She thinks you’re charming and confident. You make her laugh and it seems she enjoys talking to you.
But does that mean she would be the first one to text? Of course, not!
Yet when you start your pursuit of her starting by sending a text message, then she would likely welcome it because there’s mutual attraction.
The point is, you should be the one firing the initial salvo. That is what you should be doing.
Don’t wait for her to text you. Take the initiative! Be man enough to send her a message.
What to Text Her So She Would Reply?
When someone sees your message but doesn’t reply, it means you’re doing something wrong.
You may be appearing dull, disrespectful, or downright silly when someone doesn’t reply to your text.
What is it you’re doing wrong? Check out some of the common mistakes of men that turn off girls:
- Confessing their feelings. “Hey, I think I like you.” Or a less straightforward version but still quite embarrassing: “You’re cute. I can’t wait to see you again.”
- Sending the so-called “nice guy texts.” Stop pretending like you’re a nice guy with messages like “Hi! What are you doing? I hope you’re having a great time!”
- Sounding like a diary. You text in the morning to greet her and inform her that you’re having breakfast. An hour later, your text that you’re at work. Then a couple of hours later, you text her to tell about a place where you’re having lunch.
It can get irritating, right? She’s not your mother who you need to inform of your whereabouts. You don’t need to tell her why or when you left a certain place. So, stop texting her about every single move you make! - You’re talking dirty all the time. What are you even thinking? Not all girls like this, especially with a guy they haven’t been on a date before. Unless you’re a hunk like Shawn Mendes, then don’t go this route!
- Exhibiting psycho behavior. What does this mean? It means showing unwanted behavior like being bold and irresponsible. The simplest example would be trying to make her feel guilty for not replying.
- Avoid texting things like: “Why are you avoiding me?” or “You’re the only one who has treated me this way” unless you want her to see you as a loser.
- You are too needy. She’ll likely tell herself: “what a loser!” Don’t make it appear as you need her to respond to all your messages or that she’s like the air you breathe!
Girls want men who are secured of themselves, plain and simple. They don’t want to be a softie! - Another sign of being a needy guy is when it appears you’re following her every move on social media. If you always like or comment on her social media posts (if she does that at all), then you’re a needy guy.
According to a relationship expert, AJ Harbinger, women in today’s digital media consider digitally needy guys as one of their biggest turnoffs. It’s a thing to show interest in her, but it’s another when you like or comment on her every post.
In short, if you like or comment on her every tweet or Facebook post, you’re coming as a guy who’s always stalking her. And that’s scaring her!
Point is, you should avoid those common texting mistakes that men like you make. If you do so, that’s already winning half the battle.
The next order of business is to encourage her to respond to your messages. What can you do to make her do it?
One of the best ways is to give her a reason to text back. You can do this by asking a question.
Don’t just shoot any question, though. You can’t expect her to reply to a dumb one.
Here’s a tip: ask about something you have previously talked about. For example, you had talked about a band before. Pretend that you can’t remember the title of that band’s latest song. Then ask her: “what is the title of that song? I forgot about it.”
You can also do the ‘accidental text’ drama. The idea is to text her something that you would say is intended for another party.
Here’s a sample: ‘Haha! You’re funny!” Most of the time, girls would not let go of this kind of text. She’ll be too intrigued to know why you texted so and count on her to reply to the message.
When she does reply, you should act cool and pretend that it was the wrong text.
Her curiosity level about you should go up several notches! Then take it from there.
Start the conversation and don’t let up!
How Do You Make a Girl Like You Over Text?
If you follow the tips shared above, it is highly probable that the girl you like will now be replying to your text messages.
Congratulations! She now recognizes you!
You’ve reached first base, so to speak.
But how do you get a home run? What can you do to build a good impression? What can you do to sustain the momentum?
Hey, here are some tips to keep in mind…
1. Be positive all the time
You must lift her spirits every time you communicate with her, whether through text or in person.
When you show your positive outlook in life, she’ll look forward to being with you. She’ll want to talk with you. And those are good things, right?
Avoid texting negative stuff. It would be a big mistake on your part. She won’t like hearing how boring your work or life is.
If you’re feeling down, stay away from your phone. You might find yourself ranting. Rants are the last thing you’d want her to read on a phone.
You want to be the bearer of positive vibes in her life; not negative ones.
2. Be playful and light
You should be a guy who’s fun to be around. You can send light and amusing text messages.
Don’t be too stiff or serious—you are not her father. Your words of wisdom are not needed at all!
You’re not a teacher, too. So stop with all the life lessons!
Being playful will make your conversations exciting and entertaining. She’ll be reading your text messages, and you’ll be replied to most of the time.
Make it a goal for her to look forward to your messages, just like a kid looks forward to receiving gifts when it is Christmas
Again, if you start to sound like a robot or a boring person, you’ll likely never hear from her again. You’ll get banished to the dreaded friend zone
3. Make your conversations fun, cool, and light
It will make her look forward to exchanging text messages with you.
Here’s a tip to make your conversations more engaging and fun: remind her of something cool or fun that happened when you first met.
It may also be something funny, like probably when she accidentally spilled her drinks on you. Or when you thought she was a classmate. You get the idea, right?
Remember: girls love males who can make them laugh. And reminding her of something funny that happened when you met is a surefire way to make her reply.
4. Watch your grammar
Your girl may not be a college professor, but she’ll be turned off reading text messages with bad grammar. The same goes for misspelled words and useless or annoying abbreviations.
Girls often think that bad spelling and poor grammar are a result of laziness. And why would they hang out with a lazy man?
And according to a 2018 survey, bad grammar is a big turn-off for single people. In fact, 58% of the 2,000-plus respondents said it is a bigger turn-off than bad sex.
So, take the time to check your text first before you send it. Read and make sure you are spelling the words right. And you know how to use the words ‘there,’ ‘their,’ and ‘they’re’ correctly.
Otherwise, you would blow your chance of getting her on a date or a meeting!
5. Compliment her
In today’s digital age, there are some old ways of charming a girl that still works. One of those is to compliment her.
You may have read before that girls love to get compliments. But no, cliche compliments such as “you’re the most beautiful girl in the world” won’t cut it.
You’ll have to praise her without sounding a bit insincere. Or sound like that you’re just trying to get in her pants.
Of course, your words of praises should not only be original but also a bit flirty.
After all, you want her to like you, right?
So, how would you compliment her?
A proven way to do so is to express admiration for her sense of humor. This is particularly effective when she strings up a lot of good jokes. Instead of sending a lousy reply like a “LOL” or a “wow”, why don’t you tell her how hilarious she is?
Or why not reply: “you crack me up!” or even “you have a good sense of humor!”
Do all these five things and your chances of her accepting your date invite should go up exponentially. Your girl will like you to the point that she will not think twice about that meeting you have been longing for.
Whether you’re inviting her for dinner, coffee, or even a concert, you would definitely meet her soon!
How Long Should I Wait to Text Her Back?
Now let’s say your girl has texted back after several days of you trying to get her attention.
You’re too excited to text her again, and get the ball rolling, so to speak.
Should you send a text right away?
The short answer: no.
Don’t be too excited to text her back. Don’t rush to pick up your phone and draft an incoherent and boring reply.
She’ll think that you’re a person who has nothing else to do but to wait for her text messages. She’ll imagine you as a man who’s desperate for a love life.
She’ll even have a lot of images of you as a man who has no social life and who’s simply on the phone waiting for someone to talk with.
In short, she’ll think you are a loser.
The general rule of thumb is to never text back too quickly. Make her want you. Make her respect you more like a man!
Give yourself 10 to 15 minutes before you send that reply to her message. That should be enough time for you to review your response. You can even check for any grammar or spelling errors.
If you are at work and she texts you right after lunch, you can wait until the middle of the afternoon. It would show her that you are at work and you have priorities.
Moreover, it would make you look unpredictable. You’ll be distinguishing yourself from the rest of the pack.
You will also keep her guessing. She’ll wonder why you don’t text back right away. It would keep her on her toes, so to speak.
You want her to be baffled by the question: “what to do if he doesn’t text you back?”
Just don’t make her wait for more than six hours, which is a lot of time for any person to wait. She will think that you don’t care for her at all. No amount of calls or texts would reverse that.
Texting a day after is obviously out of the equation. Do that and you will likely not hear from her again. She’s likely to have gotten over you.
Also, keep your responses short and simple if you want to keep your conversation going. The same goes for calls. Your aim is for her to want you more.
What does a “NO” response mean?
Again, we can come up with various reasons why she’s not responding to your text messages.
She might be busy with school or work.
She may be running some errands and driving. You can’t expect her to be texting back, right?
Maybe she broke her phone.
Or maybe she’s been preoccupied with some family matters.
There are a million probable reasons why he doesn’t call or text for days. Therefore, you should keep your cool and feelings in check if she has yet to respond after a day or two.
Now if she has not responded to your text after three days, your next step is to man up and call your girl!
You’ll be confronted with two scenarios. One, she would pick up the phone and talk to you. Problem solved!
Two is that you will get to her voicemail and you have no choice but to leave a message. If that happens, don’t fret. The more crucial step is to think of a cool line or message so that she’ll be enticed to get back to you.
The point is, don’t give up on her easily! As they say, no guts, no glory!
Wrap Up
As you may have realized after reading this article, it is not the end of the world if your girl won’t text back.
There are a million and one potential reasons why she’s not replying.
It’s up to you, the guy, to remove those barriers and make her realize that you are worth responding to!
You have the power to change your fortunes! After reading the tips above, you now know how to tap that power! Follow those tips and you should be able to talk with her in a month, or if you’re lucky, in a few days!
