Should I Call Him First or Wait for Him to Call?

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Should I call him? This question right here: sounds too easy on the surface, but becomes complicated when faced with it.

Conventionally, as a woman, it’s considered feminine to wait for the man to call. However, some people don’t believe in that anymore.

“If he is really serious about you, he’ll surely call.” How true is this? Besides the reliability of that statement, how convenient is it to wait for his call when you like him? Is it the best thing to do?

I have to admit that there are no easy answers to these questions, but understanding your unique situation is an important step.

There are reasons why a woman should never call a man, and one of them is keeping your self-respect. Don’t women just love to be chased?

On the flip side, there are times you have to throw passiveness out to get what (in this case, who) you want.

If you’re presently faced with this seemingly daunting question – or probably your friend is – the answers you need are in the lines below.


Why You Should Never Call Him

You meet this guy in a club. He is dashing, and your legs wobble as he looks at you. You have a little talk, and he gives you his number. “My, o, my,” your heart screams.

You get home with his voice still ringing in your head, and you play the club scene over and over again. You’ve not forgotten he asked you to call, and now you ask: “Should I call him?”

Let your heartbeat fast and run at a hundred miles per hour. Let butterflies make a home in your stomach.

Don’t pick up your phone to call him. That’s what he wants you to do, and you’ll be doing yourself so much good not to fall into that trap. 

A guy who drops his number off with a woman at a club, and didn’t bother collecting hers is probably not the real deal.

I can throw a correct guess that he also gave his number to other ladies in the club, and he’s waiting for the prey(s) who would call. You shouldn’t be one.

If you go ahead to call him, you’re surrendering your power as a woman to him. When you do this, it’s game over. A man who has a genuine interest in you will pick up his phone to call you: he won’t wait for you to do that. Never.

Now, what if you really like him, and would want to go out with him? Don’t call him still. If you call him, you’re telling him that he’s in charge.

This is not a mere game; men are wired to think that way. If he truly cares about you, he will reach out to you. He will call you.

It’s important always to maintain your self-respect, and not lose it to any man.

No matter how high or low you feel, never let a man know you need him. It’s okay to long for his love and crave his presence, but going all out to show him is just way out of line.

Men are used to women chasing and stalking them. You have to be different. Men find that sexy and attractive.

When you eventually start dating, you can show him how crazy you really care about him, but never do it from the onset. Never.


Why You Should Call Him

In relationships, there are rarely hard and fast rules. There are times you have to damn every other reason, pick up your phone, and give him that call.

I don’t think there’s anything more frustrating than waiting all day – not to mention weeks – for someone you love to call you. It’s even more frustrating when you know you can call the person.

As a woman, it’s quite natural to be the one who is craved and chased. In order not to appear too desperate, you have to wait for him to call.

You desire a man who knows he’s supposed to call you first and goes ahead to do so. So you wait for him all day long to call you. Is this always the right thing to do?

I don’t think so. I understand the feeling of not wanting to look overly interested, but playing passive and waiting for his call could hinder you from having a beautiful relationship.

Sometimes, you might be playing a mind game waiting for him to call.

You might not agree with this, but waiting for a man to call is following an unfounded rule that men should be the ones to set the ball rolling.

Many women follow this rule in order not to appear desperate. However, the best way not to appear desperate is not to be desperate in the first place.

It’s important to know that waiting for a man to call you contributes little or nothing to your feminity. There’s no evidence it even makes you more attractive. Being passive in a relationship is not synonymous with beauty.

Some men are extremely shy and could have problems calling women because they don’t know how to start a conversation.

When you recognize this, you should initiate things by calling him. That way, you would help him overcome his nervousness and get things on.


What You Should Do Before You Call

Our emotions can sell us out quickly, even before we know it. Therefore, you must keep your emotions under control before you dial his number.

You don’t want your emotions to be screaming at him over the phone. Before calling him, ensure you’re neither feeling depressed or ecstatic at that moment.

What you’re doing is preventing him from reading off any intentions from your voice.

You have to ensure you’ve already planned what to say before you call him. This will prevent any form of disorganized speech, stuttering, and anxiety.


What Happens If He Doesn’t Pick Up?

If he doesn’t pick up, and you’re directed to his voicemail, make sure you leave a message. In doing this, you have to be very careful what you say.

Preparing for this eventuality will help you not to mess it up. Before you give him a call, plan what you’ll say if you get to his voicemail.


FAQs – The Short Answers

Who should call first in a relationship?

It doesn’t really matter who calls first in a relationship. A relationship is made of two partners who are committed to fanning the embers of the flame of their love.

Although the arbitrary rule of men calling first pervades our society, you shouldn’t ruin your relationship because of it. When you miss him and need to give him a call, go right ahead and do so.


Is it okay to not talk to your boyfriend every day?

Communication is the backbone of any relationship, so it’s vital for partners always to maintain it.

However, it’s not entirely out of place not to talk to your boyfriend every day. What’s important is talking to him about it, and reaching an agreement on what’s best for both of you.


How can I call my boyfriend?

There are no set rules on how you should call your boyfriend, or what to say when you call him.

Generally, you should sound natural, genuine, and honest when you call him. To strike up and maintain a conversation, talk about topics you both enjoy. Be free with the one you love, ensuring you cut off every pretense.


 What to do when he stops texting?

The first thing to do is not to blame yourself. That way, you don’t overthink and get into depression. Then you can reach out to him via calls and text.

If he doesn’t respond, you could find a way to see him and talk things over. If all of these don’t work, you just have to let go.

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