Are you suspecting that your girl has cheated on you? Here are the top signs she cheated and feels bad about it.
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1. She’s having trouble sleeping
Does she always seem restless? Do you always find her tossing and turning in bed? These are signs that something is weighing on her.
Difficulty in sleeping is one of the classic signs of a guilty conscience. It is possible to keep negative thoughts at bay during the day.
But when we sleep, those negative thoughts and feelings can come flooding back.
Sure, there are other probable reasons why your partner is having trouble sleeping. But guilt due to cheating ranks as one of the most likely explanations.
2. She’s become uncharacteristically expressive
Your significant other may not be the type of person who’s overly expressive. That’s fine, but if she becomes showy or expressive out of the blue, then you might want to take a step back and ask why.
Women who cheat subconsciously want their men to feel better. And one way to do so is to become attentive and expressive to them.
In their minds, they are making up for their sins.
Unfortunately, being overly attentive and expressive can also be indicative that they are up to something fishy. It’s also a sign that they feel bad about something wrong, like cheating.
3. She’s avoiding serious talk
Picture this scenario: you start a serious discussion but she either smiles or laughs at you. It’s as if she doesn’t want any serious talk.
Avoiding a serious discussion often means that a person is uncomfortable talking about a subject no matter what it is.
Author Patti Wood also says that it is not normal for a partner to smile or laugh whenever faced with the prospect of a serious conversation. It’s as if they are attempting to hide or avoid something.
Of course, there are other ways for people to avoid serious conversations. She may fiddle with her phone when you try to talk to her.
4. She accuses you of cheating
This is yet another of those classic signs that someone is cheating on his or her partner. Media personality and author Corri Fetman calls this “psychological projection.”
This is a familiar scenario that you have likely heard about or even experienced before.
When you confront your partner about cheating, she suddenly turns the tables on you. It’s you who’s now being accused of cheating!
The most common explanation for this is that she is being deceitful. It’s a natural self-defense mechanism of cheaters. By accusing you of cheating, she is distracting and forcing you to question your thoughts and actions.
It is also possible that she is paranoid that you will do the same to her. In short, this acts as a two-edged blade. It not only helps her evade your accusations but also puts you on the defensive.
5. She always flips the script
Does your partner make your life confusing? Does she make you feel dumb by lying or confusing the facts? Do her actions make you doubt your own perception of facts?
Then she’s flipping the script. Psychologists call this gaslighting, a form of mental abuse wherein one partner intentionally lies, bullies, and changes the facts. This results in the other partner getting a hazy perception of truth and reality.
Let’s cite an example. Suspecting that she is having an affair, you went through her phone while she was asleep.
You found messages suggesting that she’s been seeing this guy.
She denies all your accusations when you confront her. No, Jim is not her lover but only a good friend, she insists. And she wasn’t at the café where you thought you saw her.
Now, instead of being mad at her, you feel confused. It’s as if you have become delusional and crazy.
Does this sound familiar? If so, then she is likely manipulating you into believing that she’s not a cheater!
6. She highlights your wrongdoings
This is another scenario that you may have found yourself in recently. When you try to bring up cheating accusations, your partner evades the discussion.
Worse, she points out your shortcomings and wrongdoings. It’s like you’re the one who’s being the bad guy!
Psychologists use this tactic as a ‘smokescreen.’ Your partner will throw all sorts of accusations at you. “You’ve never had time for me,” she would say. “You’re no longer the sweet guy I fell in love with.”
These are some of the probable things you’d hear from a partner who’s cheating. She’ll try to obscure her own behavior by making you look like the bad guy in the relationship.
Does your partner do this? Then it’s likely that she is cheating!
7. She’s been giving you less sex
This is another obvious sign that your girl is cheating on you and feels guilty about it. She’s likely having her fill from someone else.
And her guilt of cheating is acting as a sort of barrier from continuing the happy sex life you once enjoyed with her.
According to sex expert Robert Weiss, a decreased level of sexual activity may be a result of a partner is getting action from someone else.
Wood says a shift from normal behavior can also be indicative of cheating.
If your partner kisses you a lot and that behavior abruptly disappears, then it may suggest she’s up to no good.
It may be reasonable to question why she suddenly acts that way.
8. She keeps on picking fights
The good-natured and calm girl you once fell in love with has suddenly become hostile. She won’t back down from a confrontation and would even be the one to start a fight.
Has your partner become like this? Then it is likely she’s cheating!
According to Weiss, it is common for cheaters to rationalize their behavior. They push the blame onto their non-cheating mates.
They offer justifications for their cheating, like: “my partner is not adventurous enough like me” or “he’s not appreciative of the things I do for him.”
By justifying their actions, cheaters think they deserve to have fun elsewhere. But those internal justifications for cheating would leak out every now and then.
She’ll behave judgmentally toward you, to the point that she would not hesitate from picking up a fight with you.
Cheaters also think that by becoming hostile, their partners would think that the relationship has become unsalvageable.
You’ll think that there is no pick to stick around and this would force you to leave her.
9. Her friends seem to have changed their attitude towards you
Have you noticed that her friends are no longer comfortable with you? Her best friend Sally, for instance, has stopped saying anything to you other than ‘hi’ whenever you are around.
Or her friends have suddenly become nice to you.
They would always ask you if you’re okay whenever you get the chance to hang out with them.
There’s a good reason for this, and it has to do with her cheating.
This is something you should realize: the betrayed partner is almost always the last person to discover infidelity.
And her friends would know about the unfaithfulness right from the get-go.
Her friends may have become uncomfortable with you because they don’t want to give you any hint of what’s happening.
Or her pals may become extra nice to you because they’re trying to compensate for their friend’s shortcomings.
In short, pay extra attention to how her friends treat you. It can tell you whether your partner is cheating on you or not.
10. She has become too chatty
It’s possible that your cheating partner will talk less, fearful that you’d get a hint about her hanky-panky ways. But it is also likely that she will become too chatty, oversharing details with you.
For example, you asked your girlfriend how that Friday night out went.
She would tell you every meal that was served, every song that they sang, and everything that transpired.
That’s uncharacteristic of her, giving too much information.
According to clinical psychologist and author Ramani Durvasula, cheaters and liars tend to talk too much.
They like creating long tales and making up strange stories so they have something to offer as an alibi whenever their partners smell something fishy about them.
The problem, though, is that giving too much information can backfire on her.
11. She feels restless and nervous around you.
This is another familiar sign of cheating that you should be conscious of.
Your partner who’ve you have always loved for being confident now looks nervous most of the time.
And you may note that she often looks restless when you are around.
Again, this can be attributed to her feeling guilty about her cheating. Lying can be a stressful thing to do for most people, and your partner may be one of them.
Look for clear signs of restlessness such as shallow and rapid breathing. You may also notice her rocking her body back and forth.
And when you press her to comment about sensitive topics such as cheating and love, she might look away from you.
It’s a clear sign that she doesn’t want to talk about these things. You can’t blame yourself if you would think she’s cheating and feels guilty about it.
12. She’s become too conscious of her appearance and hygiene
Here’s another classic sign that she’s cheating on you. When someone is cheating, her grooming rituals will noticeably change.
You may have noticed that she has changed her perfume which she has been using since time immemorial.
She may also be buying new and more stylish clothes. And she may get a new hairdo.
A cheating partner will also be more conscious of her appearance. She wants to look sexy and appealing to the opposite sex.
Hence, she may be working out more or spending more on her skincare regimen.
FAQs – The Short Answers
What are the signs of guilt?
Some of the tell-tale signs of guilt that you should be mindful of are:
- Changes in mood
- Being overly attentive and expressive
- Jittery and nervous
- Becoming too emotional
How do you tell if she has cheated?
You can tell if your girlfriend has cheated on you by observing her actions. Deviations from the norm can be indicative of infidelity such as dressing differently. She may also be spending more time away from you.
Changes in the level of intimacy may also suggest she’s up to no good. Less frequent sex may mean she’s getting her share of action from someone else.
More sex may suggest that she feels guilty about her cheating, and she makes up for that by giving you more action.
Is silence a sign of guilt?
Yes, becoming silent especially during serious discussions can be a sign of guilt. It can also happen when you bring up the topic of cheating.
This can trigger her inner guilt and make her quiet for an extended period.
What do cheaters say when confronted?
Cheaters can come up with a variety of excuses and justifications for their actions, such as:
- It doesn’t mean anything. This may be the most common alibi. She will admit to the act of cheating, but she will reassure you that there is no emotional connection to the third party.
Relationship therapist Rhonda Milrad explains that this tactic is to reassure the cheated partner that he is still loved.
Your partner may mean it, but you should first discuss how to rebuild the trust if you are to move forward with the relationship.
- We’re not having enough sex.
This is another futile attempt to blame you for her actions, according to Milrad. It can make you feel that you are, in a way, responsible for pushing her to find someone new.
Interestingly, this can be quite effective if you have to deal with sexual problems particularly low levels of intimacy.
Still, Milrad insists that you should not accept this explanation or alibi. You should not be blamed for how your partner handles relationship issues. This is especially true if it leads to cheating.
- We never had sex
Again, this is an attempt to downplay the act. It can make you feel that your partner deserves a second chance because she never went to bed with a third party.
Cheating can take various types. The most common is physical infidelity.
But there’s also the so-called emotional infidelity which basically means that the cheating party is emotionally invested in another person.
Your partner may not have slept with that other guy, but if they mutually like each other, it is still cheating. And you were still deceived by your partner.
- This will never happen again
Cheaters will offer this excuse in the hope that their partners will think their sinful ways were more of a mistake and not a character flaw.
They want you to believe that her cheating was an unfortunate incident that merits your forgiveness.
Your significant other may also say this to you because she wants you to believe that her cheating is a one-time event.
But should you believe her? Maybe not. A recent study showed that people who cheated on their partners were up to three times more likely to cheat again.
Indeed, the adage “once a cheater, always a cheater” has some truth to it.