The first few dates are all about figuring out if you have chemistry with someone.
By the fourth date, you like this person, and you hope that they like you too. By this stage, you’re probably imagining your future with this person and wondering when it will turn into a proper relationship?
In your mind, this looks like it could lead to love, but do they feel the same? Getting inside of a man’s head isn’t always easy, but there are things to look out for to help decipher if they like you or not.
Read on to find out what precisely that all-important fourth date means for him.
What is the Fourth Date Rule?
First off, why do there have to be rules? In fact, by this stage, it should be more relaxed. After all, you’ve already been on three dates together.
By now, you should be able to hold a conversation without freaking out, and you’re probably beginning to feel a close connection to this guy.
Consider the below tips as friendly pointers, not fun-killing rules. They are useful things to bear in mind when on your fourth date.
Don’t be pushy
By the 4th date, it can be easy to get carried away and want everything all at once! It’s great that you’ve reached this amount of successful dates, but it’s still early days.
Take a deep breath and remain calm. Coming on too strong is a sure-fire way to freak your date out.
Remember, there’s no rush. You should sit back and enjoy getting to know this person. Yes, this could be the start of something awesome, but you don’t need to force it.
Relax and go with the flow!
By the fourth date, you may be feeling the pressures of taking things to the next stage.
Although it can be easy to let these sexual pressures cloud your mind, the best thing you can do is just make things happen naturally.
There aren’t any set rules on when it’s the right time for the “first time” with this guy. The best thing you can do is focus on getting to know this person and whatever else happens, happens.
How many dates until you’re in a relationship?
By the fourth or fifth date, it’s reasonable to be wondering where things are going with this guy. By this stage, you probably see a relationship on the horizon.
If you haven’t had the exclusive or relationship talk already, then it’s likely that you’re eager to bring this up with him.
So, what rules should you follow in regards to taking things from dating to something more serious?
The next stage
So, you like this guy, you like him, and you want to make it official, but when’s the right time to do this?
The truth is that there isn’t a set time. Some couples become official after only a few dates, while other couples might wait months before they enter into a relationship with each other.
You might be sure that you want a long-term relationship with this guy, and you might want things to move along quickly. It’s best to try and work out how he feels on it all first, as you don’t want to move too quickly and scare him off.
Drop hints and see how he reacts. If he doesn’t bite, then you could ask him how he feels about everything. If he says he wants to wait a little longer before going official with you, don’t be disheartened.
This doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you. If he didn’t like you, he wouldn’t be dating you. He needs a little more time to get to know you, that’s all.
Not seeing anyone else
Your date might not be ready to dive into a relationship just yet, but by the 4th or 5th date, it’s normal for you both to want to discuss being exclusive.
This means that although you aren’t boyfriend and girlfriend just yet, you can stop your search for other potential partners, as you agree not to “see” anyone else.
This means no more flirty talking to other people, no more dating anyone else, and no kissing other people.
This is the next step to showing that you’re serious about each other, without quite leaping full-on relationship status.
What not to do on a fourth date
You might be taking it slow, or you may have already had the “next stage” conversation.
As I’ve said before, there are no time barriers to this. It’s often best to follow your heart and do what feels right for you.
The one thing you should be wary not to do is to get carried away. For many single folks who long to find love, they may find that patience isn’t their strong point.
As much as you may want to show them off to your friends and call them your boyfriend, for many men, acting over-eager and needy is a massive turn off.
Fourth date dilemmas
Relationships can be great fun and generally amazing with the right person, but with the wrong person they can be all doom and gloom,
By the fourth date, you want to make sure that you truly like this person, as sometimes feeling sad and lonely can make it pretty easy to make poor dating choices.
Be honest with your feelings and go on each date with a positive, fun mindset. By this stage, you should be able to talk to them easily and feel comfortable around them.
Even at this stage, if you aren’t sure they are the right guy for you, don’t be afraid to stand your ground and politely tell them this.
Are you unsure if they like you or not?
So, you’ve arranged the fourth date with this cute guy, but you’re getting mixed vibes from them. Maybe they haven’t so much as held your hand yet, let alone mentioned sex. Does this mean they just aren’t that into you?
Don’t panic! If they really didn’t like you at all then it’s doubtful they’d waste their time (and money) on a fourth date with you unless you were buying them steak (not advisable!)
If they’re acting quiet and distracted, then chances are they’re just shy. Even fourth dates can still be scary! If you’re still feeling unsure of their feelings, then it’s probably best to ask them how they feel.
You might not be at the meet the family stage just yet, but the fact you’re on a fourth date with them is positive. Take this opportunity to ask them questions about themselves and find out more about their life.
Fun fourth date ideas he will love
Instead of obsessing over what’s going on in that head of his, why not put your time and effort into organizing a fun-fueled date.
It’s best to keep it fairly simple-ish, but this doesn’t show it can’t hold significance to you. Maybe you could go on a day date to your favorite spot in the park, and you could make him a picnic full of tasty treats.
Another great day date idea is going to an art gallery- if you’re both culture vultures.
Or to the zoo or a sea life center- if cute animals and sea critters are more of your things.
Four for four
Stuck for fourth date ideas? Here are four more. Who knows, maybe if this goes well it could be the start of a blossoming relationship!
Visit a restaurant that neither of you has been to before. This way, it will be a new experience for you both, one which you can share together.
Learn a new skill- ax-throwing anyone? What man doesn’t long to be a Viking?
How about a beach day? No sun is necessary, as chilly strolls along the beachfront can be extra romantic (and a good excuse for him to put his arm around you to keep you warm).
Start the date of my going to a shop in town you like, then let him pick the next shop. This is a great way to learn a bit about each other while shopping and grabbing a bite to eat.
An Overview of What the Fourth Date Means for Guys
In this dating day and age, it’s easy to get in stress about going on a date.
By the fourth date, not only are you still trying to think up questions to find out more about them, but you also have a million thoughts buzzing around your head:
Do they like you? are they ready for sex? are you ready for sex? do they feel comfortable around you? Do they think you’re funny? Do they want to go on another date? Should you offer to pay? Do they like other women?
RELAX!!! and go with the flow. You don’t know what the future holds, but it’s only the fourth date, so just have fun getting to this guy and don’t drive yourself crazy with pointless questions and worries.