The Real Purpose of Dating

When it comes to relationships, then they all have to start somewhere.

Nobody magically wakes up at the age of 35 and is married with three kids – No! firstly, someone, somewhere, has to put in some graft.

When it comes to finding your soul mate, then time, effort, and plenty of patience are generally needed.

Let’s face it, finding your match isn’t always easy.

The chances of walking into a bar and laying eyes on the girl or guy of your dreams and instantly falling in love with each other are low (life isn’t a movie).

Instead, you need to get to know this new person so you can suss out if they’re a suitable match for any long term relationship.

Therefore, the purpose of dating is to get to know someone, and voila, they may just turn out to be the person of your dreams.


10 Reasons Why We Date

Dating usually brings with it a mix of the good, the bad, and the ugly!

Most people have a dating disaster story, and some poor people have several.

From a date with a cat-obsessed guy who sulks when you beat him at that bowling match to date with a girl who spends the entire meal going out about how much she misses her ex.

Yep, there’s no denying that bad dates suck. Still, people take the risk and go on dates.

Why did you ask? Well, because dating, however bad it can be, holds a further purpose than just putting yourself through a test of endurance.

Still not convinced about dating and its purpose? Then read on to find out the top 10 reasons why people put themselves through the challenges of dating.


Meeting New People

Face it, being surrounded by your work colleagues is okay and all, but outside of the office, you want to see some different faces.

For single people, then life can easily fall into the routine of work, eat, sleep, and repeat, especially if all your friends are in a loved up relationship.

Yes, you could sit around sulking, order pizza, and binge watch that Netflix series – or, you could go on a date with someone new.

Not only will doing this get you out into the shiny, neon lights of the world, but it also comes with the possibility of sparks flying.

For many of us, meeting someone new can be scary, but it can also be exciting.

This person could be your new best friend, your traveling companion, or even the love of your life.


Confidence Booster

Yes, not all dates go well!

Some dates may end up leaving you feeling more deflated than you did before.

But for the majority of dates, they serve a big purpose – they’re a confidence booster.

The fact remains that even if you don’t end up meeting the love of your life, by going on that date, you’re putting yourself out there.

The majority of daters know this is a scary thing to do, so the likelihood is they’re as nice to you as they want you to be to them.

They might compliment you on your outfit, your hair, your accent. There’s a world of compliments out there, so who knows which one you’ll get.

Also, whether you met them online or in a bar, the fact remains that they agreed to meet you – they did this because there’s something about you that caught their eye, and vice versa.

If you go into the date without any expectations and go with the flow, then chances are you’ll leave happy in the knowledge that you made an effort to go.


The Experience

The purpose of doing something, again and again, is to get better at it.

So okay, dating involves an element of luck.

Whether you find your soul mate on your first date or fiftieth, one thing’s for sure, the more you do something then, the better you’ll get at it.

By your twentieth date, then you’ll be a pro at handling the awkward ‘can’t find anything to say‘ moments.

With life comes new challenges, each possessing a new experience.

Don’t view dating as a chore, instead view it as a way to get to know a person while also learning and growing.

If you relax and let yourself enjoy the experience of dating, then you’re much more likely to understand its purpose and open yourself up to finding a potential partner.


Discovery

It’s amazing what new information you can learn about yourself from dating.

You might find yourself laughing at something you never thought you’d find funny or trying a food you’ve never tried before.

New people mean new openings – so take them and discover something fresh and exciting.

If you just sit around at home all alone and feeling miserable, then you’re not going to discover anything.

Better still, if the dating pays off, then you could end up in a relationship with someone who wants to embark on adventures with you.

The main purpose of dating is to find someone to have a relationship with, but if you discover more about yourself along the way, then this sounds like a good bonus to me.


Fun

The purpose of dating isn’t always to meet ‘the one.’ Sometimes young people and the not-so-young, well, they just want to have some fun.

But even finding someone to have a good time involves the first meet.

Yep, I’m talking about hook-ups.

Fun is great and all, but if this is all you’re after, then make your date aware of this; otherwise, unwanted complications and heartbreak may be around the corner – yikes!

If you’re just come out of a complicated relationship, or you aren’t feeling ready to fully commit to one person yet, then the fun can be a good thing.

But fun is only purposeful if both people are in on it. Breaking someone’s heart won’t make you feel any better.

So if it’s fun you’re after, then it’s probably best to give the serious online dating apps a miss for now and look elsewhere.


Social skills

To find a match, then firstly, you need to be social.

For some, this is easy, but for quieter folk, the thought of meeting someone new is as terrifying as going into a haunted house alone, at night, and without a flashlight!

Yes, the main purpose of dating is you get to know a person, but while you’re there, you may as well use this as a way of honing in on your social skills.

Put yourself out there, get talking, and who knows, your long-term dating dreams may just come true.


Compatibility

Someone may seem perfect through the means of phone calls and messages, but this could all change when you meet them in person.

It’s not just about attraction, traits, and so on (although these all play apart). It’s also about compatibility.

It’s only when you properly meet someone and get talking that you can quickly determine if there’s a connection there or not.

Do you both want to travel, value family above all else, and long to have at least three kids?

A good relationship comes from successful compatibility conversations.

Yeah, they may look like Angelina Jolie, but do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who wants the opposite things to what you want?


Marriage potential

Even in this fast-paced, modern world we live in, for many people, traditional values are important.

Dating has the main purpose of leading them to their life partner, the person they can share the good and bad times with, and who will make their life feel complete.

Ding dong, ding dong! 

Yep, I’m talking wedding bells!

No, it’s unlikely your first date wants to walk you up the aisle tomorrow – but most people want to marry one day.

So in looking for a person to have a relationship with, they’re open to the possibility of one day marrying this person.


Life goals

For many people, then the whole purpose of dating is to find someone who appreciates their life goals and will support them to fulfill them.

If you want to have two kids by the time you’re 30 and own your own business by the time you’re 40, then you need a partner who doesn’t laugh when you mention this.

Sharing similar goals with someone, or at least having the belief in their goals, is far more likely to lead to relationship success.

And this beats only connecting with them on a physical level.


Get to know them over time.

First impressions are great and all, but they can be deceptive.

That guy was super nice on the first date, but by the fourth date, he’s shouting at the waiter just because he forgot to bring him a glass of water.

On a first date, we want to showcase the best possible version of ourselves, but if this isn’t sincere, then it’s hard to keep up the act.

By getting to know someone over a series of dates, we’re allowing ourselves to see if they’ll be a good fit in our lives.


The Top 3 Places to Find a Date

All long term relationships have to begin somewhere – yep, I’m talking about dates!

Love them or hate them, they serve a purpose.

So, you want to acquire a date for the weekend, but you don’t know where to find one?

Here are the top 3 places to sort out that hot date for Saturday night. You can thank me later šŸ˜‰


Bar, nightclub, party

Back before the days of the internet, people met at dances and so on, and guess what, it worked for them.

Yes, I’m aware that times have changed. But the fact remains that meeting someone at that bar, nightclub, or a party is a good option.

If they gave you their number, then what do you have to lose? Send them a message and see what they’re doing at the weekend.

If they’re busy, then oh well, there’s plenty more fish and all.

But they might say yes! in which case go for it, as who knows if you’re in for dating success or not – there’s only one way to find out!


Dating apps

One of the big pluses of the modern world is the ability to find a whole bunch of potential love interests with the swipe of a finger.

Whether you pick Tinder, Bumble, or Match.com, it’s easy to startĀ chatting to people online.Ā 

Take a cute profile pic, write up a brief but friendly bio, and try to avoid using cheesy chat-up lines such as: Is your name Google, because you’ve got everything I’m searching for -cringe!

So, what’re you waiting for? Start a conversation with that cute guy or girl, and you might be dating them in no time.


Blind date

Who knows you better than your friend does, right?!

So, why not take them up on that offer to set you up with their oh so funny, cute, and sweet work colleague?

Trust in your friends, and who knows, you may end up on the road to dating success in no time.


How Does Dating Work?

Who knows – dating is a mystery to even the smartest of us.

It does serve a purpose, though, as to truly connect with someone. Then firstly, we need to take the time to get to know them.

Dating worked back in the day (or courting as it was more commonly called), and dating works now.

Too many people just settle for someone they’re completely incompatible with.

So, take the time out to go on lots of dates with that person and see what happens.

As much as you like them, you don’t have to rush this.


The Date is Set

So, you’ve scored a date – congrats! But the dating nerves have hit in.

Don’t panic. It happens to the best of us.

Just follow the four tips below to get yourself in the right mood for dating.


Dress the Part

No, you don’t have to spend a fortune on some designer outfit.

But making an effort with your appearance shows your date that you made an effort.

Think about it. If they show up with unruly hair and dirty sneakers, then you probably wouldn’t be that impressed.

However, if they look like they put some thought into their outfit, then this shows that they’re taking this date seriously.

Brush your hair, clean your shoes and wear something nice that you also feel comfortable in – there you have it, simple yet effective!


Be kind to yourself.

Don’t fall into the negative vortex.

So what if your last date was rude to you, as you don’t have to date them again. That date didn’t work, but that doesn’t mean this one won’t.

When stressed and nervous, it’s easy for us to list all our negatives, but all this will do will make us feel lousy and send out negative signals.

Before you go on your date, list five things that you like about yourself. Yes, you heard me right, I said 5.

Maybe you’re funny, smart, kind, a talented artist, or you know every line from the first Terminator movie.

Be kind to yourself, because you can’t expect your date to see your good points if you can’t see them yourself.


Think up some questions

One of the biggest dating panics is the prospect of never-ending silence.

So, to avoid this, all you need to do is plan a couple of things to ask your date.

This can be anything: Where did you grow up? What’s your favorite movie? Do you have any pets? Do you have any vacation plans?

If you plan some emergency questions, then you’re prepared in the event that the panic sets in.


Always stick to 1 pre-drink

Don’t give in to the nerves monster by drinking half a bottle of wine to calm yourself down.

Trust me, showing up drunk to your date isn’t going to impress them. And you definitely don’t want to wake up the next day with the “oh no, what did I drunkenly say?” dread – shudder!

To avoid this, then make sure you stick to the one pre-drink maximum rule.


Don’t give up

I understand. Dating is, at times, tough!

After a string of terrible dates, you may feel like you want to give up. 

I know that one bad date after another may leave you feeling like you’re doomed to be single forever! But it sounds like you’ve just been unlucky.

Why not take a dating break for the next month and concentrate on yourself.

Hang out with your friends, spend time with your family, and focus on what you want out of life.

The reality is that there’s no rush! 

So what if you’re the only single one out of your friends? When it comes to dating, then go at your own pace.

If you need a time out, then have one. Who knows what fate has in store for you – that hot person may be just around the corner.


Frequently Asked Questions

Still, want to know more? Your wish is my command. Scroll down for the short and snappy answers to those most asked questions!


What is dating about?

Dating’s main purpose is getting to know a person enough to suss out if they’re relationship material.

There’s a world of potential matches out there, so the best way to figure out what it’s all about is by joining in the dating game.

So why do people date? It’s simply because they can find someone to share their life with!

Dating is all about getting to know someone and working out if they want to date this person further or move onto someone else.

How do people look for a date? Well, first off, you need to find someone to date whether this is through modern methods such as dating apps or through more old-school methods, such as meeting someone out-and-about and asking them out.

Now all you need to do is arrange a time, a place and decide what to wear.

As for the date itself – it’s best not to overthink it and just go with the flow.


How many dates before I ask them out?

When it comes to the transition from dating to a relationship, there are no set of rules.

What may be right for others won’t necessarily be right for you – it’s best to go at your own pace, communicate with your date, then progress at a speed that suits both of you.

Where should I go on a first date? Keep it simple.

Grab a coffee or take a walk through the park. Pick somewhere that allows for conversation and doesn’t feel on the overwhelming side.

That expensive restaurant might sound impressive, but if you’re going to feel uncomfortable there, then don’t put yourself through the drama.


Conclusion

Regardless of your age and sex, if you’re single and looking to mingle, then dating serves a purpose.

Adults just want to find happiness, don’t they?!

And even though it’s quite possible to be happily single, the end goal for most people is to find someone they feel complete with.

Dating days can bring with them many challenges that can make you cry, shout, and just generally feel like giving up, but they can also bring with them the chance to meet that special someone.

With great dates and the not so great dates comes opportunity.

So, when the going gets tough, it’s important to remember that plenty of others feel like this too.

Dating does serve a purpose. You just need to keep on persevering, and who knows, your next date might just the one that leads to lurve!