3rd Date: When Stomach Butterflies Gain Consciousness

Dating is a wonderful opportunity to find a person you are comfortable with, attracted to, and with whom you could spend your future and actually build something.

However, before you reach the stage when you become a couple and actively contribute to each other’s life, you must go through a few phases.

The 3rd date seems to be a guideline for most of us. That’s when you almost know for sure your date likes you and wants to spend quality time with you. We are not radical about this aspect because nothing is one hundred percent applicable.

The third date doesn’t mean the same thing for everybody. Even so, there are a few general rules that you can follow in order to amp your date game.

If you are afraid of getting in line with others by following them, you should take a moment and think! “In this dating age, a third date can be a milestone,” says Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, for Elite Daily.

That’s why it is important to take it seriously and use all the information you can find, without losing yourself. So, let’s find out the general meaning of the third date, its afferent rules, as well as how close it gets you to a relationship.


What Happens After Date One and Two?

The possibilities are endless once the first two dates have passed. Cases wherein one party is still uncertain about the other are rare.

Especially in the current dating setting, reaching date number three with someone is an accomplishment.

The fact that you both mentally said no to your other countless options means something. So, the time has come to look at each other in-depth and ask yourself a few serious questions.

Besides your personal curiosities, it is recommended to talk about intentions. If, for example, your date has mentioned his or her disinterest in a serious relationship or commitment, don’t expect things to change just because you’ve reached date number three.

Most probably, he or she is relying on the third date rule related to intimacy. In other words, prepare a setting that will be fun, but it will also allow you to get into serious topics.

Feeling safe with your date is crucial, that’s why you might want to find out whether or not he or she is going to be around in the near future, how likely long-term chemistry is as well as if you both want the same things.

The advice you’ll find on most relationship-focused websites is to get more than drinks for this date.

Most people consider that getting drinks for your third meet-up is cheap and boring. In fact, it is among the most popular blunders, according to The Plunge.

What you should do is think of something you would both enjoy and don’t go out of your way with spending money. Regardless of your gender, impressing someone with material things isn’t recommended at all.

This would only take the attention of a sentimental connection to one based on superficiality. We are not saying that little presents or flowers, for example, are not good gifts.


Rules vs. Expectations for Date Number Three

The third date rule everyone is talking about is still on. Even if times have changed a lot, people seem to think that waiting until the third time you are seeing someone to have sex is just right.

A survey done by Business Insider shows that the majority of people think it’s ideal to become intimate after two to five dates.

However, you and your possible partner are the only ones to decide.

Situations may vary in such ways that you could feel the need to make love in an organic manner. More specifically, none of you is giving it too much thought, but you both feel like doing it.

Women are generally trying to set boundaries from the first date. This means telling the person you’re dating that you are not open to intimacy until, after the third time, you are going to see each other.

In this way, you can save time by not going out with people who are only interested in hook-ups. In addition, by doing so, you have enough time to figure out whether or not a relationship could be possible or even intended.

Love Panky warns us about the third date rule; if you decide to set standards and not follow them, it will not put you in a good light.

Saying sex is off the table unless certain criteria are met, and then breaking your word will make you seem unreliable, indecisive, and so on. Therefore, give this matter some thought before you say or do something you’ll end up regretting.

Getting psychical and not having intercourse is recommended, though. Avoiding physical contact with a person you’re attracted to or have feelings for is not advisable.

According to AM, lightly touching your love interest is a kind thing to do that also expresses attraction. No one wants to touch someone they are not attracted to, right?

So, if you notice such gestures, take them as a sign of sexual interest and why not, sentimental as well. In the long run, a caring touch might count more than a sexual one.


Men and Women Express Interest Differently

While the first date could mean the same thing for both men and women, we cannot say the same about the second date or the ones following it.

Considered fragile and endearing beings, women tend to focus on their feelings rather than on their animal instincts. So, if a woman is interested in a third date, then she is most probably thinking about the future as well.

On the other side, psychologists warn us that men might wait for the third time seeing you in order to get more physical.

That’s why it is important to set boundaries or at least talk about your intentions. In this way, none of you will end up feeling uncomfortable or rejected.


The Beginning of a Relationship

Seeing the real side of a person doesn’t have an expiration date. However, after the first date and the second date, you should get a better understanding of your love interest.

Once awkward silence moments are a thing of the past, and you get to know each other better, you can figure out whether or not you’d like something more.

Make sure you are focusing on important aspects, such as things in common, chemistry, the level of comfort, overall lifestyle. Avoid thinking of exclusivity if you are not ready yet and see how things go.

Revealing sensible commitment thoughts should not be made under pressure. Lead your conversations in a direction that satisfies your curiosities and helps you get the answers you need.

Our fellow colleagues from Hack Spirit seem to think 10 is the lucky number.


Third Date and Counting

The third date is considered a threshold these days. So, make sure to use it at its full potential. Use the guidelines we gave you to understand yourself better, as well as the person you are dating.

Also, being aware of the rules most people follow doesn’t mean you should too. Keep in mind that nothing can go wrong with the right person!