So, you’re currently, single, lonely and pining for your ex. We’ve all been there!
Your friends are telling you to get out there and find someone else. Only, you don’t want anyone else, in fact, the prospect of dating another guy makes you want to puke!
You’re adamant that you’ll never be able to build a strong connection with anyone else. Your ex is the one for you, and you want him back- but how?!
Table of Contents
What to do to get him back?
You want your ex-boyfriend to come back, but you don’t know where to start. Perhaps things didn’t end so well between you both, and you said a lot of stuff you didn’t mean? You want him back, but it’s all one big mess, and you don’t know what to do!
Often, it’s being away from someone that makes us realize just how much we miss them and want them to come back.
Here’s how to get your ex back. Well, here’s how to try! Face it, some guys are jerks, and you’re better off without them, you just don’t realize it yet as love can be blinding at times.
If there’s still sparks and “good” love there, then go for it. Sometimes you just have to take a risk and follow your heart.
Tell him how you feel
Chances are that your break up wasn’t pretty (few break-ups are). You both likely said some cruel things to each other that you didn’t mean.
The problem is that the human mind is far more likely to hold onto these “negatives” and let them swim around our heads. Now, when your ex thinks of you, he thinks of the mean things you said, and it makes him annoyed.
The key is not to overwhelm your ex. If needed, then apologize to him, tell him how you feel then give him space to think.
As much as you want him back, you need to give him time to work out what he wants.
The truth is, however, much you still love him and want him back in your life, you don’t want to be stuck in a relationship with someone who entered back into it for the wrong reasons.
Give him space
DON’T send him a bunch of texts and phone-calls as this will make you look needy and make him feel suffocated.
Wait until he’s replied to your text before you send him another one. As for phone calls, only ring him once. If he answers then great, if not, then don’t call him again- it’s his turn to call you back.
Leaving voicemail messages is ill-advised, as once it’s out there, IT’S OUT THERE!
It’s a well-known fact that voicemail messages never sound good. Do you want him re-listening to your flustered, muttery voice?
NO, of course not, So leave the voicemail messages for booking appointments and telling your mom you “got there safely.”
By not sending him a zillion messages, you’re showing your ex that you’re perfectly capable of functioning without them.
Trust me, they don’t want to imagine you out there having fun without them, so this will drive him crazy.
Never drunk message him
We’ve all been there, and it never ends well!
Break-ups make us sad, and the temptation to go all Bridget Jones and watch soppy romance films while eating our body weight in ice cream is overwhelming.
Get a massive tub of ice cream and line up the movies- this is totally acceptable to break up behavior. Invite your girlfriends round and turn it into a chance to catch up and have fun.
Never, ever drink copious amounts of alcohol and be left unguarded by your phone.
At 1 is after 4 large glasses of wine and a couple of Sambuca shots, it suddenly seems like the best idea in the world to send your ex an essay message. Don’t do it!
You might miss him like crazy and be desperate to get back together with him, but sending that drunk message will ruin any chances you have of this happening.
Trust me, you won’t get your ex boyfriend back with drunken, misspelled pleas of love…cringe!
To prevent the awful moment of realization when you wake up the next morning with a pounding headache and read that message you sent your ex, then do as follows:
Don’t overdo it on the alcohol when you’re upset about your ex, as it will only make you an emotional wreck.
Make sure your friends are under strict instructions to physically remove your phone from your hand if you’re so much as tempted to message him.
Work out how and why your relationship went wrong the first time
Basically, you should want to know how to make your relationship work this time. When blinkered by love, it’s easy to forget the downsides.
You broke up for a reason, so you both need to learn from your past mistakes and grow and move forward- whether this be together or apart.
Make sure you think this all through. Yes, you really want him back, but in the long-run, is it the right decision for you both? Can you imagine being with this guy forever! And learning to cope with his flaws and bad points?
Will you be able to move on without being resentful or holding a grudge over past actions or events? Yes, you want to get your ex back, but is this your head talking or your heart?
Life is far too short to be stuck with the wrong person. So while you’re following the contact rule (not bombarding them with calls and messages), then you can give yourself time to really think about things.
How to get revenge on your ex?
It’s over and there’s no going back!!! Perhaps they’ve told you they don’t love you anymore! Or, maybe they’re dating someone new…ouch!
When your mood has switched from thoughts of “how to get back with your ex” to “how to get back at your ex,” it’s reasonable to want to hurt them as much as they’ve hurt you.
You might feel like your world is falling apart, and the need to want to get back at him may be overwhelming- but is it ever a good idea to actually carry out your revenge plan, and if so, then how?
Work on feeling good about yourself
The best way to get revenge on your ex is by showing him that you’re perfectly fine without him- better, in fact!
Have you always wanted to go blond but not felt brave enough- now’s your chance to do it.
Do you want to feel healthy? Start a new hobby? Travel to new places?
Well, now you don’t have your ex holding you back or saying you can’t. Trust me, you can, so get out there and do it!
Nothing will irritate him more than knowing that you’re happy without him, and you’ve never felt and looked better!
How to learn to move on
Right now, it probably feels like you’ll never be happy again. You can barely contemplate life in a month, let alone your 2 years from now future self.
It’s bad enough that you miss him and want him back when it seems clear he doesn’t miss you at all- without feeling alone and useless on top of it all.
Your life isn’t over, and you can move on without him. Stuff getting him back, it sounds like you’re much better off without him!
When your relationship is officially over and done with, then make sure you stop dwelling on how to get your ex boyfriend back, as this will send you crazy! You don’t want him to come back, not really! You just need to learn how to move on.
Having someone we love actively choose to live their life without us in it is painful!Therefore, we need to go through a grieving process to move on from them.
The mind is complex and needs plenty of time to heal, so don’t be afraid to show yourself some kindness and work on you.
It’s easy to be left feeling broken and worthless, but you are worth something. Be kind to yourself and give yourself some slack. We can be our own worst enemy at times.
Still, you deserve to start a new relationship with someone who never makes you feel anything less than amazing.
Work on yourself, then you’ll be ready to find someone truly worth your time and love.
Surround yourself with other people
It’s easy to think about him out with his friends, surrounded by family and dating that new girl.
If you’re low on family and friends, then it can be almost unbearable imagining him surrounded with his- when in your eyes he doesn’t deserve them!
Maybe, you don’t have friends anymore as you gave them up for him, or perhaps you had shared friends, and they’ve sided with him? Now you’re left feeling alone and worthless, while he’s out there living the high-life!
Hopefully, you’ll be able to make amends with the friends you drifted apart from for him (they’ll probably just be relieved that you’re finally out of his clutches).
If they’re still mad, or for whatever other reasons you appear to be low on friends, then there are ways to make new ones.
After a break-up, it’s normal to not feel at your socializing best, especially if you’re on the socially awkward side, to begin with.
If you’re not the “walk into a room full of new people by yourself,” kinda gurl, then now isn’t the time to throw yourself into the deep them.
Instead, why not join a friend making an app! Yep, you heard me right, such a thing now exists. It turns out you’re not the only lonely person out there in search of a new friend.
Get rid of the things that remind you of him
You’re not getting him back, so why are you still wearing that Dirty Dancing t-shirt he gave you? It may be that it’s a perfectly good t-shirt, so why not donate it to charity?
You can’t expect to move on from your ex when you’re still holding onto things that remind you of your time together.
Yes, it’s totally normal to miss him, but how are you ever meant to let him go if reminders of him are scattered around your home? 1 year down the road, you don’t want to have a home filled with things your ex got you.
Do yourself a big favor and remove all traces of him from your home. Also, don’t forget to give your photo gallery a clear-out too- that picture of you both standing next to the Eiffel Tower has gotta go!
Don’t cave into petty behavior
Messy break-ups can make us want to scratch his precious car, push him into a thorn-bush and order a dozen pizzas with toppings he hates and has them delivered to his home pay-on-delivery.
You may feel like doing these things will make you feel loads better, the truth is that fantasy is far better than the reality. Don’t give him the satisfaction of becoming “the crazy ex.”
The truth is he’s just not worth it! Doing things to annoy him won’t help in getting him back. In fact, it will make him angry at you, which is never a good thing!
The best revenge is letting him go from your life and learning how to move on.
I can’t say I’d blame you if you hid his favorite sweater while collecting your belongings from his place, but is this really the best idea?
What if you find out you left something else of yours at his or an important issue springs up that you need his cooperation with?
If you’re willing to move on amicably (however much of a jerk he is), then the easier it’ll be for you to go back to his to pick-up that thing you forgot, or to contact him if something significant needs sorting out.
What to Say to Get Him Back: An Overview
When it comes to your ex, as much as you love him and miss him, the truth is that he left your life for a reason.
When we love someone with all of our heart, then it’s very easy to only see the good things about them and conventionally block out the bad.
Yes, some couples do split up and then realize that they’re both miserable without each other. This can happen, but it’s unlikely, when its over, it usually stays over!
As much as you want him back, ask yourself, do you truly want to spend your life with a man who let you go and broke your heart?
However, bad things were between you, he chose to let you go instead of working through your problems together.
You deserve to find someone who wants to spend their life with you and who loves you unconditionally.
Your soul mate is out there somewhere, and when you find him, he’ll do everything in his power to never let you go. Until they concentrate on you and building up your confidence.
Get out there, try new things and spend as much time as you can with amazing friends and supportive family members.