How to start a conversation on Tinder? This is one of the most commonly asked questions of people who are looking to find a match on the popular online dating site.
After all, no matter how good looking you look on your profile picture, or how engaging your bio is, getting a Tinder date still boils down to how well you can start and sustain a conversation.
One thing to realize is that writing “hi, how are you?” won’t cut it as a Tinder conversation starter. It’s too generic that you should not be surprised if you don’t get any replies at all.
Another problem with the typical “how are you?” question is that any Tinder member would likely have a rehearsed answer to it. Thus, you would likely receive an insincere reply.
The point is, the best Tinder conversation starters are crucial if you want to get a date. You must be clever and creative in order to stand out from the crowd, so to speak.
Don’t worry as this article would give you ideas on conversation starters Tinder.
You’ll learn about the topics to talk about and the questions you can ask on Tinder.
Plus, this article would warn you about the things you should never discuss or bring up on Tinder.
Table of Contents
What Should I Ask First on Tinder?
The simplest way to determine questions to ask on Tinder is to look at the bio or profile of the person you want to meet.
Ideally, you have to ask the right questions to get to know your prospect. Therefore, ask Tinder questions pertaining to the bio, including pictures and interests.
For instance, the Tinder bio you are looking at suggests that the person is into sports, you might want to ask her which sport she’s into.
Or, if it indicates that the person loves traveling, you might want to ask about the next place on his or her travel list. You may also zoom in on the pictures and look for potential questions to ask.
For example, you might recognize your prospect hiking at the Rocky Mountain National Park. You might want to ask: “Was the hike worth the view?”
You can also look at the pictures of the prospect when thinking of a Tinder question. Let’s say that your prospect has a photo of her playing golf.
You can start the conversation by commenting: “it looks like your golf swing is a lot better than mine.” Then you can ask: “how often do you play?”
Finding something in common and asking about it is another time-tested and proven way to start a conversation on Tinder.
Again, you should read your prospect’s bio to find out if there’s something you have in common.
Perhaps you went to the same university or come from the same state. You can then think of Tinder questions to ask based on the information that you’ve gathered.
Let’s say you realized that you and your prospect went to the same school. You can ask him or her, “hello, fellow Spartan! What brought you to this city?”
Or after finding out that she had just moved to your city, you can ask her: “what brought you here and what’s the best part of it so far?”
It is important to read the profile of your prospect when thinking of questions to ask on Tinder.
You can pick up many good questions to use as your Tinder first message just by reading the bio section. Personalize the Tinder question to increase your chances of getting a reply.
Giving compliments is also an effective way to get the attention of a potential date. The best first message on Tinder is one that opens with a sincere compliment.
Unfortunately, this is something that many singles these days overlook. They fear that giving compliments usually lead to rejections, according to dating and relationship expert April Masini.
The key to avoiding rejections is to send the best-personalized compliments. You just don’t say that a girl looks hot; you have to go beyond the usual praises.
Date coach Terran Shea advises referencing an obscure actor or actress instead of the A-listers.
The idea is that when you compliment a person and suggest that he or she looks like a less popular celebrity, then the person would look up on Google for reference. This would make the person think about you and your compliment.
What Opening Lines Should You Never Use?
Let’s face it– it can be tempting to send single-word messages to your Tinder matches. If you’ve been into online dating for some time now, then you might have sent a ‘hey’ or ‘wassup?’ to your matches at least once in your lifetime.
But you may want to think twice about sending single-word messages because these words may likely be ignored.
Here’s something you should realize– single-word messages are the worst pick-up lines on Tinder. You would appear lazy when you send a single-word message on Tinder or on any dating app or website, for that matter.
Do you want proof? Let’s look at a 2015 study made by data scientists of Hinge, another dating app. In the said study, the scientists discovered that ‘hey’ is the opening line that received the lowest amount of responses among Hinge users.
In fact, other openers such as names like “Taylor Swift” even fared better than ‘hey.’ Other single-word pick-up lines such as ‘hello’ and ‘hi’ also received low responses.
According to author and dating coach Laurie Davis, single-word messages like ‘hi’ are too casual for dating apps. This is especially true when you use those words for someone who you’ve never met before.
Sending emojis as your first message is also a bad idea. Like one-word lines or messages, emojis can make you appear lazy and even childish.
Put yourself in the position of a woman who receives a kissing emoji or a hand wave from a grown man. What would you even feel about it? You may likely feel that the other person is not willing to put any effort at all in online dating.
Of course, this is not to say that you should never use emojis on Tinder. You can use emojis when you eventually advance your conversation with a Tinder prospect. But for an opening salvo, emojis are a bad choice.
It’s also a terrible idea to use unwanted sexually-explicit words in your initial message– unless the Tinder match specifically begs for one.
For one, you don’t know if the Tinder match is ‘game’ for this type of conversation. Moreover, there’s the risk that you can be blocked if you do it. Plus, sending lewd messages would only make you look a horny scumbag.
Therefore, stick to fun and PG-rated topics such as animals, food, travel, music, movies, and the like, and you’ll eventually engage in more adult conversations in the near future.
You may also want to reconsider sending template pick-up lines in trying to begin a conversation on Tinder.
Because you may not know it, but many gals and guys hate receiving impersonal and copy-pasted messages. You may have even received one in the past– a message that is so generic that it seems written by a robot.
Here is one example of template pick-up lines: “hey, how are you? I love movies like you!” This message is non-specific that it can be sent to practically anyone on any dating site.
You might think sending copy-pasted messages can save you time and effort, but you’re likely to get no response from your prospects.
Why do copy-pasted messages leave a bad taste in the mouth? For one, sending this type of message shows that you didn’t even bother to read the profile of a Tinder match.
It can be disappointing for a person who filled out his or her biography or profile page only for it to be skipped by a potential match.
And you can’t blame that prospect to immediately erase a copied and pasted message out of sheer frustration.
Finally, you must avoid complimenting the physical attributes of your Tinder match. Lines like “you’re so pretty” or “you look hot” won’t get the attention of your prospect, especially if she’s really a looker.
Chances are, she has heard those things before. Also, opening a conversation with a compliment on his or her physical attributes would appear off-putting.
What Should I Talk About On Tinder?
Now let’s say that you have been able to get the attention of a Tinder prospect. She replied to your opening or pick-up line. You’ve shared the basic details like jobs, hobbies, favorites, and even some jokes.
But how do you keep the momentum? It’s likely you’ve been asking this question to yourself: ‘what are the best topics or questions to ask on Tinder?’
You don’t have to talk about the weather in your area for the nth time. Nor to ask her what she had for breakfast for the hundredth time.
There are other good questions to ask on Tinder. You can move forward the conversation by asking: “what fun activities have you done as of late?” Talking about fun activities and hobbies is a great way to spark an engaging conversation.
It allows you to get to know your match better and even give you the chance to check how compatible he or she is with you. When you ask this Tinder question, you’re inviting your match to reveal more about him or her.
You may be surprised to realize that you share a fondness for certain things such as traveling, extreme sports, or other fun activities. And there’s the possibility that the answer to this question can inspire date ideas in the future.
You can also ask: ‘would you rather stay home or go out during the weekend?” This is a more specific, time-bound Tinder question that should lead to interesting answers.
Like the question earlier, this requires more than a yes or no response. It can give your conversation more momentum, allowing you to know more about the Tinder match.
You can also ask similar queries such as “would you rather be playing or watching sports?” and “would you rather be a famous actor or a great scientist?”
But what if there’s a lull in your conversation? Let’s say that you haven’t received a new message from him or her for quite some time. How do you get your prospect to talk again?
One way to do it is to ask an opinion about something interesting to him or her. Refer to a topic that you’ve previously connected on, like a movie.
Then ask a question about it that requires more than a yes or no. For example, “would you rather be Captain Marvel or Pepper Potts?”
If you both want to watch sci-fi movies, ask: “would you rather live in Narnia or attend Hogwarts school?” You can also ask deep, thought-provoking questions like, “would you rather be infamous or someone forgotten after death?”
Finally, you can try to move the conversation from the Tinder messenger to another platform. This is highly recommended when you feel that you are ready to take the conversation to the next level.
Why don’t you ask your prospect on Tinder with questions like: “can I have your phone number?” This is your attempt to move forward the conversation and make it more personal. Who knows, he or she will like it to and agree to a first date!
What Are The Common Mistakes to Avoid?
There are many common mistakes of Tinder users that you’d want to avoid when communicating with others on the popular dating app.
First, you should not take ghosting personally. If you don’t know it yet, ghosting refers to the abrupt end of a conversation without any explanation.
The truth is, ghosting is very common on dating apps like Tinder. Don’t be shocked when one of your prospects suddenly stops communicating with you. If that happens, don’t get discouraged! Continue to swipe and talk with new matches.
Never force the issue with a match. If you haven’t received a reply after your second or third message, then accept the likelihood that the guy or girl is not interested.
Don’t hound the other person with multiple messages, as this is a futile way to get a response. As they say, read the writing on the wall: he or she is simply not that into you.
It’s also a bad idea to sustain a backlog of matches that you never talk to. After all, what’s the point of having tons of matches whom you’ve never communicated with.
Relationship and dating coach Erika Ettin advises that if you don’t want to meet a certain match, then simply unmatch him or her.
Finally, don’t get too personal with any of your matches on Tinder. Yes, you may be nursing a broken heart now, but it doesn’t mean that you should be sharing your story with anyone you meet on the dating app.
You would only be seen as a loser, and you’ll likely be dumped by any guy or girl on the dating site.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do you have other questions to ask about Tinder? Continue reading to know the answers as this article would run down some of the most frequently-asked Tinder questions.
1. Help! My prospect has stopped responding to my messages. What may have possibly happened?
There are only two possible ways to explain this scenario. First, it may be that your prospect has not been opening the app. Or the prospect has become tired of conversing with you.
It’s a common misconception that a person who has stopped communicating on Tinder may have removed the account or blocked another person.
But if both scenarios happen, then the person would simply be removed from the list of matches.
2. I sent the first message, but I haven’t received a reply. How long should I wait for a reply?
The speed of a prospect’s response would depend on various factors like their level of interest and Tinder habits.
It’s possible that you might have to wait for a few days for a reply, especially if the person you are interested in is busy or having a holiday.
A good rule of thumb to follow is to wait for seven days. If you still haven’t received a response, don’t sulk. Just continue looking for matches!
3. I’m a girl. Should I wait for a guy to message first?
If you feel like that a guy you find interesting is into you, then don’t be shy to make the first move.
4. Who should ask for a date?
Again, either person can ask for a date. Your gender doesn’t matter. If you feel like now’s the best time to ask for a date, then ask your Tinder match for a first date!
5. Is it okay to send a flirty first message?
Yes, you can always be flirty on Tinder. Let’s face it. This is an app for hookups. But it’s better to be slightly flirty because you won’t really know if the other person is up for some sexually-charged conversations.
Now that you know the best questions to ask on Tinder, you can now get your phone and start swiping and messaging your matches! Good luck!
