What to Do When He Reappears – Coping with Guys Who Mess with Your Head

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So, you’re dating a cute guy, and it’s going well. You’re feeling excited about where this could lead and daydreaming about entering into a relationship with this person.

Then, without warning, they disappear entirely. They don’t so much as send you a text message giving you a reason for their actions.

His disappearing act has left you feeling burned. You’ll undoubtedly be driving yourself crazy as you try to explain their sudden absence in your head. Have they been in an accident? Is their phone broken? Did you do something wrong?

Time goes by, and you’ve finally come to terms with their unexplained disappearance and rebuilt your confidence. Then boom! They slide back into your DMs like they never went away!

Why has he suddenly reappeared?

He’s turned from hot to cold more frequently than tap, but why has he suddenly reappeared?

When you believe you have a connection with this person and you’ve developed feelings for them, it can be disheartening when they suddenly go silent.

So when they reappear out of the blue and say all the right things to you, sometimes it’s easy to want to believe their words. Your gut feeling might be telling you that this guy seems dodgy, but sometimes it’s easy not to listen!

Why exactly has this guy suddenly reappeared and started messaging you again? Read on to find out!

He doesn’t know what he wants

He ignored you for weeks; then, he reappeared as he’d never been away. Not only is this frustrating behavior, but it’s also confusing.

The truth is that it sounds like he doesn’t have a clue what he wants. Maybe he freaked out and decided that he wanted to be single or date other people, then he changed his mind and started talking to you again?

He may have given you a bunch of excuses for his behavior, but it only takes a few seconds to send a message. The “I’ve been busy” message is the biggest cop-out ever!

You deserve to be with someone who values you enough to at least send you a message with a valid excuse if they’re unable to talk for a bit.

A guy who doesn’t know what he wants will never know if they want you or not!!! Trust me, as much as you like him; you don’t want the uncertainty of not knowing where you stand!

He wants to keep his options open

So, you share loads in common, you were talking for weeks, he sent you the cutest texts, and you finally thought you’d found ‘the one.’

Then, he vanished without a trace, only to reappear a few weeks later. This will have left you feeling pretty confused, but when feelings are there, it can be easy to see the good in someone and give them another chance.

He might be apologetic and convince you that he will never vanish again, but what’s to say he won’t?

Most guys that come in and out of your life when they feel like it does so because they don’t want to commit to just one person.

They don’t want to stick to one fish in the pond when they could have a whole aquarium worth; you get my drift?! It seems like this guy is looking for a good time, not a long time!

He’s a player

Beware of the players– they might be hot, charming, and say all the right things, but they know exactly what they’re doing.

They come back-and-forth into your life and have no intention of ever making things between you both more permanent. These time-wasters just want to add you to their tick-list to boost their already inflated egos!

We want to be valued, and we want guys to like us, so when this guy reappears and says all the right things, it’s human nature to want to believe them.

Maybe one day, they’ll change their behavior and be a decent partner for someone, but that isn’t going to happen right now. Let them get their player phase-out of their system without being a part of it.

This guy doesn’t need his ego-fueled anymore. You should block him from your life and go on the search for a guy that is genuinely looking for an exclusive relationship that will lead to love.

Why the ‘ghosting?’

Most people ghost others because they have commitment issues. They’re so absorbed in their freak-outs that they shy away from doing the decent thing and explaining themselves to the other person.

Okay, so sending out an “it’s not you, it’s me,” message may get a rude reply, but it’s far better than being ghosted. Everyone deserves closure, and not receiving it is a guaranteed mind mess for you.

When we have answers, we can work through them in our heads. Yes, it will probably hurt for a bit, but at least it’s an answer, instead of being stuck in an unknown limbo.

So, when a guy stops replying to your messages for no reason, it sounds like they’re a flake.

Yes, their behavior is terrible, but they’re the ones with the commitment issues, not you. It seems like you’ve had a lucky escape to me!

Confusing behavior

So, they aren’t ghosting you as such, but they’ve gone from sending you 20 messages a day to a couple of one-worded texts. This is confusing because it leaves you unsure of what’s going on.

Are they just busy? Do you think they are going off you? Are they messaging other girls?

You feel like you can’t come out and ask them, as you’re worried about scaring them off.

These guys are experts at shifting their insecurities onto you and leaving you feeling like you’re the one to blame!

Don’t be scared of messaging them! As long as you keep your message friendly, then if they choose to get defensive or annoyed, it sounds to me like they have something to hide.

Confusing behavior is no fun and definitely won’t lead to a relationship!

How to respond to ‘ghosting?’

You thought it was going somewhere with this guy, but then he did a disappearing act for no apparent reason. It’s easy to feel deflated when this has happened.

Although his sudden lack of response can be disheartening, the best thing you can do is move on and find someone who deserves to share their times with you.

If after a day, week, or even months, this guy suddenly reappears with some lame excuse (they went on a vacation and forgot their phone…unlikely story!), then it’s best to give them a taste of their own medicine and ‘ghost’ them back.

You deserve someone to treat you with respect and care. He’s the one that decided to go awol, so let him get on with it.


of your dreams will value your time and not do a disappearing act when he feels like it.

Do guys always come back after they dump you?

So, you were in a relationship with what you thought was a fantastic guy. He said all the right things to you, and you put your trust in him.

Then, without warning, he dumped you and disappeared out of your life.

Not only are you left feeling hurt and like you’re not good enough, but you’re confused as to what happened?!

You deserved an explanation from this person, but instead, they just dropped you like you were nothing to them. Ouch!

It’s down to your friends and family to pick you back up and remind you how amazing you are.

Still, the thought lingers in your head, will he realize that he was wrong to let you go and come back?!

He wants you back

He ended your relationship and broke your heart. Then, weeks later, he’s reappeared declaring his love for you and that he can’t live without you.

You don’t know what to do because a part of you still loves him, but you can’t just forget how much he hurt you. This guy lets you go, and there’s no erasing that this happened…ever!

Being single again may seem terrifying, and so does the prospect of eventually returning to the dating scene.

You need to try and push these thoughts to the back of your head and think about whether you should take him back or not?

Forget what your friends say, as it’s your life and you deserve to be happy. If you genuinely believe he made a mistake and regrets it, then maybe you can give it another chance.

The choice is yours and yours alone. If you do decide to give him another chance, then you need to make sure that he understands how lucky he is.

Love is hard to find, but don’t let your search for it allow you to settle for someone who doesn’t truly deserve you.

Do ‘friends with benefits’ usually come back?

The dating world isn’t always fun. Sometimes, we are in a head-space where we want some fun with someone we trust, without the hassle of having to go on a string of monotonous dates.

Having a ‘friend with benefits’ may sound good on paper, but it rarely ends smoothly. When you’re having an intimate relationship with someone, it’s easy for feelings to grow.

This type of relationship rarely goes the distance, and it usually leads to complications.

You’re in this person’s life without properly-being in it, and this can lead to confusing emotions, confused feelings of jealousy, and well, just general confusion!

When things end with this person, it’s unlikely that it will happen again. Although, depending on the circumstances, there may well be the occasional hook-up in the future.

Will ‘friends with benefits’ lead to love?

Being intimate with someone you like and get on with sounds great! You were friends beforehand, so you know that you get on, and you’re both single and feeling a bit lonely. What could go wrong?!

In the movies, this usually ends with them both falling madly in love. Later on, things get a little bit deeper, and they both get into a relationship with each other.

In the real world, it tends to be a bit more complicated. It usually ends one of two ways, the first being it just fizzles out. This type of thing is only significant for so long, then one of you will be ready to return to the dating world, etc.!

The second way is that one of you will fall for the other person; when this happens, this person can either declare their feelings to the other and risk facing rejection.

Or they can carry on keeping their feelings to themselves and secretly be overwhelmed with jealousy whenever another girl/guy is mentioned.

What to do when he reappears:
An Overview

Some people come in-and-out of your life from time-to-time, while others take a more permanent role in it.

It’s important to remember that this is your story, and it’s up to you who you want to have a starring role in it. Don’t waste your valuable time on someone that pops in-and-out of your life whenever they feel like it.

The dating world may be a minefield at times, but taking the time out to search for your true love will be worthwhile.

Don’t cave into time-wasters. When it’s right time the man of your dreams will appear in your life and trust me, he ‘ll be well worth the wait.

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