There’s this woman…
She’s attractive, funny, smart, and has the best taste in movies.
But she has a kid or two!!!
Dilemma!!!
Should you run for the hills – or, should you take the leap and involve her and her kids in your life?
Yeah, I get it. Dating a woman who has children may seem like a frightening prospect, but you need to ask yourself what you’re so afraid of?
Is it the fact she can’t put you first?
Maybe you hate the fact she had children with another guy. Therefore she has a whole lot of history with this dude, and chances are he’s still about and causing mischief?
Or maybe when you think of a single mom, you picture some scruffy haired woman who doesn’t enjoy her life?
Okay, so NEWSFLASH! Not all single moms are miserable. In fact, most lead perfectly content lives.
Yes, they might not always remember to brush their hair, but the same goes for a lot of people, parents or not.
Think about it, do you think children are really that scary? – I mean, we were all kids once!
So, what is the reality of dating a woman with kids?
Keep on scrolling down to be in the know on what dating that hot single mother actually involves?
Table of Contents
Is It Worth Dating Someone with Kids?
Yes, why wouldn’t it be?
Come on, we all have pasts – so what if her past relationship didn’t work out? No doubt she’s learned from it, and now she’s ready to find a partner who makes her happy.
Yes, she has children, so this does complicate things.
But as a single mom, she’s used to guys freaking out at the mere mention of her children.
Yes, she had a life before you, and now she has kids – but they’re children, not monsters.
Just because she has responsibilities doesn’t mean she can’t find love.
So, don’t rule that single mom out without first getting to know her.
Don’t Freak Out
“Sorry, I just don’t wanna date a woman with children!” – this is a line that the majority of single moms have heard before.
Think about it. They just want to find a guy who makes them happy and accepts their kids – now, is that too much to ask?
If you really can’t envisage dating a woman with kids, then in short, don’t! But don’t bother wasting her time in the first place.
Yes, children are hard work, and taking on someone else’s kids makes things even more difficult. But this doesn’t mean things won’t work out.
Before you freak out, think about it – is that single mom worth a shot, or do you truly seek the freedom that a dating a single woman will bring?
Is It Hard Dating Someone with Children?
Dating full stop can be difficult.
But just as a single mom always puts her children first, a woman without kids may put her work first, or choose to go out partying over spending time with you.
Taking on a woman with kids isn’t easy. You’re stepping into a ready-made family, and her kids may find it hard to accept you at first.
It’s usual for her child to be wary of you, protective of their mom, and unsure of how to act around you.
This means you’ll have to try really hard to build a relationship with them.
Involve The Kids
If you want to feel like an integral part of both the mom and her kid’s lives, then first, you need to put a lot of effort into it.
Have a movie night, let the children pick the film and make sure there’s popcorn…lots of the stuff!
Go on family outings, whether this is the local pizza restaurant or a trip to the zoo.
Make an effort to speak to the kids and include them in the conversation – don’t ignore them or act like they aren’t there as this won’t go down well with their mom.
When The Dad’s Around, Take A Deep Breath.
A single mom usually comes with one extra tricky piece of baggage to deal with – her ex.
Usually, when it comes to exes, then the best approach is to delete them out of our lives and try to think of them as little as humanly possible.
But when someone has kids with their ex, well, then this complicates things.
Chances are the father won’t like the fact you’re spending more time with his kids than he is.
Whether he’s the snide comment making kinda dad, the barely around but expects to get all the credit kinda dad, or the volatile dad…
Either way, when he’s around, it’s best to take a deep breath, smile, and be polite.
Is Dating a Single Mom a Good Idea?
Yes, dating a single mom is hard work, but this doesn’t make it a bad idea.
The fact remains that you’re not their number 1 – so, if you’re expecting 100% of her attention, then she’s not the right person for you.
She already has a kid or two, or three. So, the last thing she wants is to start dating a guy who acts like one too.
What she’s looking for is a kind, caring, patient man, who understands that sometimes she’ll have to cancel plans because her kid’s sick.
That she can’t always afford to go to places as she has to buy school shoes.
And that romantic getaway you’re so desperate for just isn’t possible for her at the moment.
But what you are likely to find is a strong, independent woman who works hard, knows how to budget, and can do the washing, talk to her kids, and plan out what she’s going to make for dinner all at the same time.
The Pros
She appreciates the little things in life, such as her daughter’s first word, finding that ten bucks under the couch, and spending quality family time together.
She isn’t reliant on anyone else.
She’s no game player – she has responsibilities, so the last thing she wants s to mess guys about and play games.
She just wants an honest man who will be accepting of her children, so they can share a happy life together.
The Cons
She has limited free time – so that date might not happen!
She probably wants to take it slow – so don’t expect to move in within a week. In fact, it’s usual for single moms to wait a while before introducing their new partner to their children.
There’s no room for selfish behavior. You have to accept that she will always put her children first.
You probably won’t get much ‘alone time.’
And on nights when they’re at their dad’s/grandparents/friend’s houses, then she’ll either want a wild night out or to crash out on the sofa.
She might not want any more kids – so if you want to have them, make sure this is one of the first questions you ask her.
They can’t just consider their own feelings anymore. They have their children to think of too.
Why Dating A Single Mom Is Hard?
Their kids come first.
This makes life difficult, especially if you are the attention-seeking kind.
Dating a woman with kids means you can’t whisk her away on a spontaneous romantic trip, nor can you go out to that restaurant last minute.
Everything has to be carefully planned out first.
She can’t just stay around at your place on random days.
And you can’t stay at hers unless she says it’s okay first – then when you do, you have to be mindful that her kids are there too.
Basically, there are a lot of things to think about, but it’s not all doom and gloom…
Kids are funny
Well, they are.
They see the world in a different way to us…
So okay, you run the risk of getting close to her child then boom – the relationship doesn’t work out, and that means you’re out of that kid’s life.
This sucks for both you and them.
Single moms know this, and that’s why a lot of them are extra wary when it comes to dating and new relationships.
But they know that if they want to embark on a relationship, then they need to try.
Yes, dating a single mom is hard, but dating anyone can be hard at times.
And kids aren’t all bad; in fact, they seem to have a knack of bringing out people’s good side and reminding us to live a bit.
Also, they tend to say it how it is. If they hate your shirt, then chances are, they’ll tell you.
And if they like you, well, chances are they’ll tell you so too.
Dating A Woman With Kids – An Overview
If you want to live it up, then dating a single mom probably isn’t right for you.
But if you’re done with the partying lifestyle and want a committed, long-lasting relationship, then don’t rule that woman with a kid out of the equation.
Yes, dating a woman with kids takes patience, time-planning, and the need to put selfish actions aside.
But you get to be a part of her kid’s lives, to see them laugh, smile, grow.
This idea may freak you out, but it may be the case that it’s not actually as terrifying as it seems.
If you like her, then don’t let the fact that she has a child get in the way.
Instead, take the time to see where it could go – you never know; it might just be the best choice you ever make!
