So, you like her, and I mean really like her.
And you think she really likes you too.
But then she shocks you with the words: I want to take things slow!
I mean, what do those words even mean? It’s natural for a zillion thoughts to fill your head, such as have her feelings toward me changed?
Isn’t she looking for a serious relationship? or is she keeping her options open in case someone better comes along?
Quit torturing yourself with all these thoughts as all they’re going to do is send you loopy.
Now, scroll down to discover the ten real reasons why she wants to slow things down.
Table of Contents
1. She’s been hurt before
No one said love was easy.
Yep, there’s no denying that being with the right person is amazing, but trying to find the right person isn’t always that straightforward.
Being in a serious relationship with someone basically means handing your heart over to them and trusting them to look after it.
But sometimes this doesn’t work out, and when this happens, it hurts like crazy!
If she’s been hurt before then, it’s understandable that the more her feelings develop toward you, the more afraid she’s going to be.
Being broken-hearted once is no fun, but handing over our heart to someone else at the risk of it happening again, well, that’s truly terrifying.
If you like her, then my advice is to be patient with her; this way, you’re showing her that you aren’t like her ex, and her heart is safe with you.
So, what if she wants to take it slow? This doesn’t mean she doesn’t think you have something special; she just needs to be certain that you’re a guy intent on staying in her life.
2. She rushed things last time
Maybe she rushed things in her last relationship, and this ended badly for her?
As adults, learning from past mistakes is important; else, we’re forever doomed to make them over and over again.
So, if in her previous relationship, she told that guy she loved him after a week, then moved in with him the following month.
And it all ended in tears!
Then it makes perfect sense that after all that, she will want to do things differently.
Just because she wants to take things slow doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you.
If anything, this shows that she likes you a lot, and she wants to take her time so that you can both set solid foundations for a long-lasting, amazing relationship.
3. Comfort zones
Okay, so your brother met his girlfriend at a bar, then a week later they were planning their wedding.
Naturally, when we see other people fall into relationship bliss in what seems to be overnight, then the green-eyed monster strikes.
You’re probably asking yourself why is everything perfect for them and not for me?
It’s important to remember that you only see what’s on the surface. Yes, they might seem like the perfect couple, but being closed doors, things may be less peachy.
The road to love isn’t a race, so if the girl you like wants to take things slow, then don’t feel disheartened.
We’re all different; therefore, what pace works for one person won’t work for another.
So, you like her, right? So it’s important to appreciate that taking your relationship at 10000 miles per hour isn’t going to work for her. Instead, it’s just going to freak her out.
Everyone’s comfort zones are different, so respect hers and reassure her that you’re not going anywhere.
4. Intimacy issues
Yes, it’s 2020; therefore, for the majority of us, working out if you have a strong, intimate bond with each other is super important.
Yes, sex is an important factor in a relationship, but so are the little things, like getting to know her and strengthening your emotional bond with each other.
These days most men and women don’t feel the need to wait till their wedding night to sleep together for the first time.
So, if neither of you is saving yourself, then you might be asking yourself, why doesn’t she want to be intimate with me?
No, I doubt there’s anything wrong with you. And no, there’s nothing wrong with her either.
She just doesn’t want to rush into sleeping with you; instead, she wants to build your emotional bond first, before you both take it to the next level and develop your physical bond.
Maybe she doesn’t want to be intimate with you until you’re properly in a relationship, and by that, I mean boyfriend and girlfriend officially with the Facebook status to match.
There’s a lot of timewasters out there, and she clearly doesn’t want to fall victim to one. No one enjoys being used then ditched, as this totally sucks!
Dating is great and all, but this might not be enough of an indicator for her that you’re destined to be together forever.
If you like her, then it’s vital that you don’t rush her, as if you truly like her, then it’s likely she’ll be worth the wait.
Think about it, a few months without sex won’t seem like a big deal if it leads to a lifetime with the woman of your dreams.
5. They’re enjoying getting to know you
So, it’s currently just the two of you.
That means no awkward meet-ups with her friends scrutinizing your every action.
And no scary meals with her family.
No, just because she’s yet to introduce you to her friends and family doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you. It sounds like she just wants to get to know you first without the involvement of others.
Being just the two of you means you will both begin to let your guard down and find out if you’re compatible or not.
Let’s face it; the less we know someone then, the more of a guard we keep up.
Relationships come with the good and the bad.
So, if you still end up together three months down the line when she knows all about your mood swings, and you know all about her awful snoring, then it seems like you’re a match made in heaven.
This doesn’t mean that you guys won’t get to the next stage in your relationship but right now, why not make the most of it just being the two of you?
The likelihood is that the world and everyone in it will still be there in a month or two, so make the most of your one-on-one time with her before you have to spend every Sunday having dinner with her family.
6. They’re confused about what they want
I get it; no one wants to be told: “I don’t know what I want, so I want to take it slow so I can figure it out!”
Yeah, hearing these words sucks but let’s see the positives in it; at least she’s honest with you.
Maybe she’s just not sure if she’s ready for a serious relationship.
If this is the case, then give her a bit of time to figure it out, and if she still can’t work out if it’s you, she wants or not.
Well, then, as much as it sucks, it sounds to me like this is the point where you walk away.
Hopefully, it won’t come to this, though; instead of having a few weeks to think through what she wants or not will make her realize that she wants you in her life.
If that girl needs time, then give her time.
But at the end of the day, it’s vital to remember your own worth and that however much you like someone, there’s no excuse for them not to treat you with respect.
If she wants to play the field and continue dating other guys, then it sounds to be like she’s not the woman for you.
7. They’re afraid of ruining what you have
From your romantic date nights out to your movie nights cuddled up on the sofa, she likes you, and the last thing she wants to do is mess up what you have.
She wants to take it slow and stay in the now because she feels safe here.
Diving headfirst into something serious is scary while keeping things as they seem less daunting.
Yes, for your relationship to grow, she’s going to have to take the plunge eventually.
This doesn’t have to be big things all at once; instead, it may pay to aim for the little things gradually.
Such as telling her you’d love to meet her best friend but only when she’s ready for you too, of course.
8. It’s all happening too fast
Did you meet by fluke? Maybe your chance meeting has sent her into complete turmoil.
Last month she was adamant that she was never dating ever again! Then boom, you showed up and sent her head into a spin.
She may really want to be with you, but she’s also scared, and she’s finding it hard to keep up with all these big life changes.
As amazing as new love can be, it’s also pretty terrifying at times.
She doesn’t want to end up looking foolish in front of her friends and family, so she probably believes that by taking things slow, she’s doing the right thing for her.
Love is like a whirlwind, it sucks you in and drives you crazy, but it’s also exciting.
She’s taking a chance on you, so perhaps you should take a chance on her too?
Talk to her – tell her that you’re interested in getting to know her more, and if she’s all about taking it slow, then you’re down with that.
Give her time for her head to stop spinning and for her to figure her thoughts out.
If you support her through this, then you’re showing her that you’re open to going at a pace that’s right for her.
9. They have a lot going on in their lives
Okay, so we all have busy lives.
But something major could be happening in theirs, for instance:
A loved one is sick.
They’re being kicked out of their apartment.
A family member isn’t talking to them.
All of these situations are likely to cause tremendous strain on a new relationship.
She probably doesn’t know you well enough yet to feel like she can burden you with her worries.
Yet her worries are all still there eating her up.
If it feels like you’re losing her to her life problems, then maybe taking things slow is a good idea.
Yes, I get it; you like her and don’t want to add to her burdens.
But your feelings are important too, and sitting around not knowing what’s going on or where you stand isn’t fun for anyone.
Talk to her about it and tell her how you feel. Be understanding of her situation but make sure that you get your point across.
You’re happy to take things slowly, but you want her to include you and not keep you shut in the dark.
10. They thrive off the dating buzz
For many, the prospect of multiple dates is the stuff of nightmares.
Cue clammy hands, word vomit, and a serious case of the jitters.
But for some folk, dating is the stuff of dreams.
They love the buzz being asked out on a date gives them, enjoy picking out the perfect date outfit and can’t get enough of that first date butterflies feeling.
There are taking things slow; then there’s keeping you as a reserve so they can continue to meet other guys.
It’s cool for that girl to want to slow things down and make sure she’s ready for a relationship with you.
But it’s totally not cool for her to keep you as a standby while she gets her kicks from fresh dates.
If she’s a serial dater, then it doesn’t seem to me like she’s looking for love.
It sounds like you’ve been unlucky, as you’ve met one of the few people who actually like dating.
Sometimes, however much you like that girl, you need to admit defeat and move onto a woman whose generally interested in you.
Frequently Asked Questions
Here are some of the short answers to the top burning questions why girls want to take it slow.
1. What does it mean when a girl wants to take it slow?
As explained above, there could be lots of reasons.
But the main reason why she wants to take it slow is that she’s been hurt in the past, so this time she wants to make sure you’re the right man for her.
If you like her, then why not take it slow too and see where things go?
Oh, and don’t forget to ask her how she feels as trying to double guess her feelings has disaster written all over it!
If you want a straight answer, then firstly, you need to ask her a straight question.
2. How do I take it slow with a new girl?
So, you want to take it slow with that cute girl? Well, then all you need to do is be honest with her.
Tell her that you think she’s amazing, but you aren’t ready to meet her friends just yet or to go to her cousin’s wedding.
3. How do you tell a girl you want to take it slow?
Firstly, don’t panic!
Just make sure you explain to her how much you like her and that you want to slow things down because you don’t want to rush it and mess it up.
Don’t forget to reassure her, oh, and to tell her that you have no intention of dating anyone else is always a good idea too.